Create Change in your life

How much of what you have worried about has ever actually happened to you? Here you are with so much potential worrying about what may or may not happen in the future, is your position such that you really need to be concerning yourself with something which is just a mind made concept in your head? If the life you are creating for yourself happens, and only you can determine whether it does or not, won’t these days where you are worried about whether or not it would happen seem a little pathetic?

You are creating something bigger than you have ever created before, that will allow you to live a life unimaginable just a few years ago. Your goal is achievable and can be done by you; don’t ever lose sight of that.

“If there is a solution to the problem, there is no need to worry. If there is no solution, there is no sense in worrying either.”
Dalai Lama

“Ten years from now the problem you are worrying about will be completely meaningless and totally irrelevant.”

All you have to do is think of the life you will be living and use it as motivation to continue taking action now.

Worrying is a mindless concern for every possible eventuality, it is pointless

Living in the future can be a cause of anxiety because if you were living in the now, what would you have to be nervous about?

A new definition of worry might be something like this:

Worry: A type of thinking that results in new mind made concepts that serve no other purpose then to produce anxiety and stress in a person’s life.

If you are worrying about something are you living in the present moment or are you somewhere else completely? Worrying about the future, what future? It doesn’t exist except in your own head.

• What have you got to worry about in your day to day life?
• What is it about your job that worries you?
• What is it about your relationship that worries you?
• What is it about your financial situation that worries you?

It is all imagined.

There are many bad habits in the world and worrying is one of them, if you are guilty of it then consider it something you have to quit. If you have money worries, I think you will agree that worrying about them will not solve anything, but taking action to come up with a new way to earn more money or brainstorming ways to cut your expenses might.

Worrying is born out of a lack of confidence in yourself; it is a lack of confidence in your ability to handle situations when and indeed if they were to occur. If the problem was large and in your face you wouldn’t have time to worry as you would be too busy taking action to do something about it.

How about using anxiety as a motivational strategy, I mean if you are constantly worrying then why not instead of worrying take action in the present moment to do something about what you are worrying about. If you are unable to do that, then what is the point in worrying? If you jump out of a plane without a parachute what will worrying about it solve? Nothing!

So cut down on this habit that can paralyze you. Rarely do the things that you worry about ever come true. So what’s the point? Worrying is just an ineffective way of thinking about things that may or may not happen in your life. So stop worrying and start living.

admin Happiness change your life, Positive Thinking

Limiting beliefs are easily formed but sometimes but hard to get rid of. Sometimes it isn’t good to take life too seriously and this applies especially to our negative and limiting beliefs. If this is something you can identify with, what can you do to break out of it? If you find yourself t

admin Positive Thinking change your life, Positive Thinking

When you think negatively you don’t think about life in a very positive way. The negativity will cause you to cloud your thinking, it will cause you to dwell on the past and worry about the future. The question to ask is what is the point of your negative thinking, why are you doing it? Is it because you are feeling bad, stressed, angry, uncomfortable, restless, depressed? The result is a very un-resourceful state which you stay stuck in. The mind will then stay negative and you may even feel angry about feeling negative, so it then becomes an endless cycle of negativity.

Rather than think of all the plans you have made for the future, you instead immediately lower your sights about what you think is possible for yourself. You will start to dwell on your limitations, and your thoughts will be taken over with anger about the past and fear for the future.

Negative thinking will take you to the place where you don’t want to go, the exact place you are trying hard to move away from. Negative thought patterns will crush you.

Now there are certain events which can trigger off a chain of negative thinking, we are human and sometimes we get the blues? We can allow our thoughts to dominate us at times, but we shouldn’t let our minds control us like this. The mind is available for you to use anyway you want. It is capable of taking you to the highest highs, it is also equally capable of taking you to the lowest lows, you need to make sure that yours takes you to the highest highs.

• Do you spend time being negative?
• Do you look at things in your life in a negative way?
• Do you think negative thoughts about your life and your future life?
• Do you sometimes feel like just giving up, or giving up on yourself?

If your negative thinking is left untreated it can be seriously bad for your health and eventually lead to suicidal thoughts.

How is this happening?

You are thinking hopeless thoughts for the future.
You don’t perceive that there is anything worth living for.
You believe you don’t actually deserve to succeed.
You belief you are destined to live a miserable existence.

“Negative beliefs are barriers that have to be overcome before we can even hope to go any further in our lives.”

“We are all worth more than we already have and everybody deserves a shot at something better.”

“Negativity is like a poison that can ruin the human spirit and suck the life right out of you. Negativity is born from concepts invented in your mind about what you cannot or will not be able to have or do and feeling powerless to do anything about it.”

You can do something

There may be times when in your life people tell you that you can’t do something, probably when you were younger and also perhaps as you have gotten older.

However the statement left in its original form ‘You can’t do something’ will have little meaning, it is only when we change the statement and repeat it back to ourselves with an ‘I’ that it can really affect us.

It then becomes an identity statement, a statement that your brain starts to believe to be true, a statement that will not only cause you to have doubts about your ability to do something; it will also affect your behavior and actions.

Turning it around

There are times when we sometimes don’t have the skills to carry out a particular task, when this happens rather than say to yourself ‘I can’t do this’, say ‘I can’t do this yet’. Don’t form a limiting belief from one small event that happens in your life. Your confidence levels can really drop when you do this. When you form a negative belief it affects your actions as well as your feelings. Not having the skills at a particular task is one thing but it is a completely different story when you form a lasting negative belief from it.

admin Beliefs change your life, Positive Thinking

Mindless Chatter, Slow it down! - Whenever you hear your internal voice start to chatter, make a conscious effort to slow the voice down to half speed, keep doing this for as long as the voice is bugging you, really slow it down until it becomes too difficult to even listen to the voice. Keep doing this until the voice stops altogether.

Internal Voice (Shut it up?)

Every time your internal voice starts getting negative and dominating your thoughts start to count to 100, once you have done this do it again until it becomes tiresome and you no longer can be bothered anymore, if the internal voice starts again, begin counting once more.

Instructive not critical

When you talk to yourself instead of criticizing what you have or haven’t done, instead provide yourself with useful instructions about what to do next based on what you have learnt from experiencing what you have or haven’t already done.

At night

If when trying to get to sleep at night you have lots of images and chatter going on in your head, then you will more than likely find it difficult to fall asleep. If as you lie in bed you have internal dialogue, slow down the tempo and turn the volume down so that the voice whispers, if you are also making images darken them like when the lights go out in the theatre.

Give these techniques a go and see how you get on.

admin Mind Positive Thinking, The mind

Re-labeling the external part of a negative belief - So let’s say you have a limiting belief that involves or is based on some behavior exhibited by yourself or someone else. Are there other meanings you could give the behavior that would make it much more positive? Are there any other terms or labels that could reduce, alter or transform the meaning of the external behavior?

For example - ‘I’m not clever enough.’

Is being clever really the issue here? What about if this is a sign that you just need to study more. Do you really believe just because you aren’t clever enough you won’t be able to succeed in other areas of your life? Is being clever the be all and end all of everything?

Well OK let’s say it’s true, so you may have to give up on the idea of being a Brain Surgeon, but it really doesn’t stop you from achieving an infinite number of things in other areas of your life does it?

Maybe not clever enough but still clever right? You might not be clever enough but you are determined and motivated to get where you want to go are you not? Maybe your IQ isn’t up there with Einstein’s but whose is? If we were in another country now, how would this hold up? Would people in other cultures use this belief to prevent them from having what they wanted in life?

What about if you looked upon this as an indication that you are not where you want to be yet, you could become clever enough if you made study a priority in your life. In what situations are you not clever enough? Are you clever in some situations and not in others?

I suppose if we are mixing with the best intellects of our time then this might hold true, but what about in everyday life, surely you are clever enough? Are you sat around doctors with PhD’s when you say this? What about saying ‘I’m not quite up to their level in terms of education’ or ‘These guys have certainly read a lot more books on the subject than I have’?

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When you have a negative belief try re-framing it with some of your values in life. For example with a belief such as ‘I’ll never be able to learn Japanese’, you could say something like - It looks like it is important for you to learn a language? You must value people who speak a second language. Do you also value the time it takes to learn a language and the dedication and commitment required? Which do you feel you should concentrate more on to be true to yourself?

Do you think it would be better to spend time saying you won’t be able to learn Japanese or instead spend time actually listening to audio tapes and reading books about the Japanese language?

So you do care about learning a language, with this in mind can you think of ways that you will be able to learn Japanese?

Some questions you may want to ask yourself:

• What are some of your higher criteria or values?

• What would happen if you applied your higher values and principles to the negative belief?

• Which of your values would prove useful to apply on this belief?

• What values would qualify your negative belief in such a way as to make it much less limiting?

admin Beliefs Beliefs, change your life, Positive Thinking

Negative and self limiting beliefs can and very often do hold us back in life. These beliefs can stop us from achieving what we most want and need in our lives. Our limiting beliefs more often than not have been learned as we have gone through life and very often we have bought them with us from childhood. While they don’t serve us well, they are still very personal to each of us. Many people form strong identities from their beliefs, limiting or not and so any negative beliefs can become a deeply ingrained part of their personality one that they carry around with them for years.

Beliefs are personal; they are important and have the ability to define our entire lives. Our beliefs have governed how we have lived in the past, they govern how we are living now and they will govern how we will live our life in the future.

Examples of some negative and limiting beliefs:

• I’m useless, I always have been

• I am an idiot

• I’ll never be a success

• Everyone hates me at work

• I won’t become rich

• My Business will fail

• I’m not clever enough

• I’ll never be able to learn Japanese

• I’ll never get promoted at work

• I’m too fat

These negative and limiting beliefs ultimately serve no real purpose apart from to stop us from having what we want in our lives. They become so entrenched in our minds that we just accept them as normal, never really believing we can do anything about them.

Just one negative belief about yourself, your situation or anything else related to your life can dictate to you the action you take, the behavior you exhibit and the environment where you find yourself.

A negative belief can really make it difficult if you are looking to make a change in your life or accomplish some goal. It becomes your own personal roadblock that stops you dead in your tracks. You accept it and it becomes the way your life is.

Of course everyone is entitled to believe what they want. We have a choice, and we can choose to not accept our limiting beliefs any time we wish. Do you really want to continue creating mind made barriers for yourself?

You may want certain things in your life, you may want more for yourself, your family and even for the world around you, but yet your limiting beliefs never seem to go away, they have always been there and they will always be there in the future. They will remain a fundamental part of who you are unless you do something about it.

Remember that beliefs can be changed, and this is great news when we know we have beliefs that limit us. You probably used to believe in Santa Claus but I bet you don’t anymore. Rest assured that if you want to really change a negative belief you have, it can be done.

One useful strategy to use is to step forward into the future and envisage what will transpire (or not) as a result of the belief you hold.

When we do this we can see just exactly where our negative belief will lead us.

Types of question to ask yourself when taking the negative belief into the future include:

• What will happen later on in the future if you persist with this belief?

• What consequences will occur as a result of this belief?

• What results will or could arise from the initial set of results?

For example:

I’ll never be able to learn Portuguese.

With a belief like this, where will you be in 2 years time? Imagine instead if you start learning Portuguese now, how much of it would you be able to speak in 2 years time?

Do you realize the more you believe this the more this will prevent you from actually learning Portuguese. So eventually over time you will not be able to learn any new languages with a belief like this.

So I guess you can forget about conversing with any Brazilians in their own language when you visit Brazil then?

You could carry on asking similar questions based on what you will be able or not be able to do as a result. Try it with your own negative beliefs and see if your perspective changes.

admin Positive Thinking Beliefs, change your life, Positive Thinking

If you continually run through again and again all the things that are missing in your life and how bad it is, you will be miserable no question about it. You will become annoyed and impatient with yourself including everybody around you. Constantly reliving or inventing new bad experiences will eventually cause you to stop taking action altogether towards making anything happen in your life. Any goals you once had set for yourself become utterly pointless, they are ignored replaced instead by indolence, it becomes preferable to do less and less, you begin to watch countless hours of television anything to distract you. The time you used to spend on constructive activities becomes too much like hard work and so the activities are forgotten altogether, along with all the other plans you may have made for yourself, eventually depression sets in.

You create a system for your brain to follow, every day the program runs itself, just like getting dressed in the morning and having breakfast, you also manage to forget all the things you should be doing and focus your attention on feeling miserable instead. It then starts to become regular behavior, which you start to accept as normal. It becomes easier to ignore the ‘goals’ and the ‘plans’. All of a sudden life becomes hard, a drag and to make matters worse you also beat yourself up for feeling lousy.

When you are in this cycle of doom nothing much ever gets accomplished. If it continues one day you will wake up and realize your life has passed you by and you have not moved forward one little bit.

Are we to blame?

Is it all our own doing?

Well in a word ‘yes’

Occasionally people feel down because of problems outside of their control, but a lot of the time people are the architect of their own blues. Life is ultimately a series of choices and we shouldn’t actively choose to feel bad by creating unhappy internal thoughts. It is always easier to cast the blame onto somebody or something else outside of our control, the reality is we are choosing to feel low and this is something we can choose not to do anytime we feel like it. We are all responsible for how we feel. If we feel depressed it will always be up to us to do something about it not anybody else.

The first step out of depression or any low miserable state of mind is to fully accept that it is your responsibility to get out of it and change how you feel, whatever that may involve. It could be eating an ice-cream, a big bag of sweets, feeding the ducks, cooking your favorite meal, or something else, but it is important to remember that it will always be down to you to break out of it. You can’t expect anyone else to come along and say ‘there, there, everything will be ok’, because it won’t unless you do something about it.

Once of the best things you can do to break out of a bad mood or depressive state is to take action, do something, a brisk walk, watch birds in the sky, you could even put your feelings down on paper so you can read them at a later date, some dark poetry perhaps?

A lot of the time depressive states pass within a few days, and are only temporary, however sometimes people can be their own worst enemies by feeding their low moods with more negative based thinking, and somber thoughts, this is the time when action is needed.

Exercise is always good, something that gets you out of breath and changes your state.

Just do something, don’t just sit there and ponder the injustices of life.

Become active and force a smile on your face.

admin Happiness change your life, Happiness, Positive Thinking

Affirmations can be very useful when you need to give yourself a pep talk occasionally, it doesn’t hurt to remind yourself from time to time what you can do or are capable of by way of some positive self talk. However don’t fall into the trap of contradicting yourself (saying something and then never carrying out the appropriate action). For example saying you feel great then immediately saying you feel terrible. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Use statements that serve you in the present moment, for example to focus on a current goal or to increase your self-belief.

• Use words that mean something to you.

• Read your statements as often as you need to.

• Use your self talk when you are working on stopping negative thoughts, you can use them to replace any negative internal dialogue.

• Sometimes it may be necessary to first interrupt your current thought pattern, do this by changing state; either physically (going for a walk, exercise) or mentally (change what you are thinking about).

Examples:

• I am a very good singer

• Every day I am becoming more confident

• Today I feel great

admin Positive Thinking Beliefs, Positive Thinking, The mind

Why is it that all the negative, unproductive and sometimes hostile thoughts we have are always easier to believe than the positive, life enhancing and encouraging? You know the voices that say ‘this won’t work’ or ‘that will never happen’, the images of future events not turning out the way you would like them to, or possibly not happening at all. They all seem so believable and real!

The reality is of course much different, theoretically (at least) it is just as easy to believe that your future will be filled with everything you so desire. But it sometimes appears that we are a little bit more certain that our future won’t develop as we would like or contain the things we want to have.

This doesn’t happen for everybody but it probably happens to a lot of people. Reluctance to believe you will have what you want, that you can have what you want or that you even deserve what you want can be a real road block to achieving anything.

Now there could be many reasons why we ‘choose’ to believe what we believe, but it may be worth spending time to find out why YOU are choosing to believe the negative stuff.

Are any of the following applicable for you?

If I believe negative stuff it means I won’t be surprised when I fail I have a poor self image so it’s impossible to believe good things I have no choice in the matter, this is what I tell myself and that is all there is to it
If I look back on my life it is only bad things that have happened to me, so that is probably what will happen in the future. Believing I will be successful means I will have to work at making them happen and I’m lazy

Of course all of these might be true and then none of them may be true, it depends on your own circumstances, but whether you believe them or not, do they answer the question of why it seems easier to believe negative rather than positive things about yourself? Even if they did provide answers would you they satisfy you?

A lot of the time it depends on mood, generally if you are upbeat and feeling good you tend to gravitate towards a more optimistic and healthy view of the world, and in particular your role in it. Whereas when you are feeling low or depressed a cloud of doom can dampen your entire world and thus cause you to feel down and negative.

But does it really depend on mood or is there more to it?

I think that if you are feeling down then you have to address those reasons why you are feeling low which in turn should help with removing your negativity.

If you are continually believing that nothing good will ever happen to you, then it could be an indication of a more serious issue, (depression) and worthy of more attention.

One thing is certain, it is very hard to make any progress on goals, aspirations or anything else when you are wallowing in a sea of negativity. Nothing gets done, predominately because too much of your time is spent feeling down and thinking unhelpful, unconstructive thoughts.

When you get into a spiral of feeling low sometimes it is hard to break out of it. Time can sometimes be a great healer but unfortunately time is a commodity that we don’t have a lot of, especially when you are working towards goals you have already set yourself.

So when you wake up each morning, whilst eating breakfast and getting dressed, also spend some time thinking a few positive thoughts about your life and the day ahead. After all it takes just as much time and energy to think negative thoughts as it does positive ones.

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