Create Change in your life

Once you have defined a vision and set goals for yourself, it should be full steam ahead, it simply will not benefit you to put yourself down when you are on a path of creating a better life for yourself.

You should always be fully supportive of yourself and your endeavors. It is important you become your own best friend, this means using your mind in a positive way and not letting it use you. Self doubt and loathing will not help you, they will get you nowhere. All they will do is keep you stuck in a self perpetuating loop and negativity and self doubt.

Every little bit of action you take to create a better life should be celebrated not negated by negative self talk or a negative attitude you have towards yourself (if you do then it will be like one step forward, negative self talk, then two steps back).

If you find that there are situations in which you speak negatively towards yourself? Learn to ignore it or simply observe it. Don’t be impatient with yourself, learn that success takes time and that once you are on the right path you need to be on your own side. You need to continually support yourself, through everything you do and so it is important to give yourself praise when you make progress (however small) and not to berate yourself when things go wrong (if they do).

Don’t beat yourself up when things don’t go the way you want them to, if you do this it is like some form of mental torture. Remember that if you’re having a bad day, or things aren’t going right for you it is only temporary, realize that you are on a path of progress, you have a goal, don’t let minor things get in the way, get over them quickly, move on and spend your energies elsewhere.

Learn to accept yourself for who you are at any moment in time, you define your own happiness nobody else does this for you. Look out for yourself and look after yourself in life first and foremost and always be ready to praise yourself when you achieve things in life, no matter how small they may appear to be.

admin Inspirational inspire, motivational

A story about re-labeling behavior - Sam always hated meetings at work, not because she didn’t like talking or that she felt self conscious, it was because (in her eyes at least) everybody at the meeting were a lot more intelligent than she was. Sure they worked in different departments, and they were bought into the company to do different jobs, but Sam just believed them all to be slightly superior to her, more capable and this always made Sam feel uneasy when at staff meetings.

You see everybody was supposed to talk at staff meetings, they were open discussions and everyone present was expected to participate. Most people did participate all except one, Sam.

One particular meeting was all about new strategies and ideas that they could implement on their current project which was currently behind schedule. It was a typical meeting, lots of brainstorming of ideas and as was common some well thought out strategies were being put forward. As usual Sam played the part of the careful observer, listening intently to what others had to say but not putting any ideas of her own across.

Nobody ever said anything to Sam, but she always felt uncomfortable and it was this feeling of discomfort which would really get under her skin. She would often think about it for hours after the meeting had finished. In her mind everybody else was more intelligent than she was. Their discussions proved that, as clear well thought out comments were always present in every meeting.

In Sam’s eyes it was because her colleagues produced clear concise ideas at the meetings that made them more intelligent than she was. This was what she thought anyway.

Sam thought about this for a while, she started to wonder what other ways she could look at their behavior? Was it true that because they spoke clearly at each meeting it meant that they were more intelligent than everybody else? Maybe it was because they had never been afraid to speak out that their ideas always seemed so clear and well thought out.

Could it be that they had been exposed to meetings more than Sam and so found it easier to articulate their ideas? What about if they were taken out of the meeting? Sam knew she performed just as well as her colleagues outside of the meeting room, it was just in the meetings where she failed to perform.

Did it really mean that because someone spoke up in a meeting they were more intelligent than those who remained quiet? Sam started to think that this was absurd, and rightly so, she started to come up with alternative conclusions for the behavior that her colleagues displayed in the meetings.

• They had more practice
• They weren’t afraid to speak their mind
• They were used to it
• They had done it many times before
• They didn’t worry what others thought

Sam thought about these new ways of labeling their behavior, rather than say they were more intelligent it made more sense to attribute it to more experience.

And so armed with this new way of thinking about her colleagues behavior Sam started to formulate her own plan for contributing more in meetings, she now knew it wasn’t down to intelligence but rather lack of experience, so little by little, speaking more in each meeting Sam began to involve herself in staff meetings more and more, and was soon not only putting forward her own ideas but also having them adhered to in the weeks that followed.

Sam felt great and no longer felt inferior or worried when a staff meeting was called.

admin Random Beliefs, change your life, motivate, motivational

Can you occasionally be found procrastinating? What even is procrastinating? Well it is basically putting things off, being lazy (in so many words), not doing what you should be doing, finding excuses to do what you know needs to be done and instead doing nothing. I am guilty of this. If you do find yourself delaying activities or chores or anything productive for that matter, it pays to actually spend some time to look at what exactly is going on inside your head, i.e. the pictures you are making, the voices you are hearing and the feelings you are getting just prior to the activity or task that you need to be doing (it may even be just getting up in the morning). Some people may get a voice that says ‘You should go and do the dishes’, which often prompts the immediate response of ‘I don’t want to’, which leads to inaction, as nobody likes being told what to do, even if it is a conversation in your own head.

Other people may get an image or play a video of the activity, which may also prompt a negative response. For example a movie of yourself filling out your tax return (or some other equally tedious activity) is unlikely to fill you a rush of excitement to go and start the activity. One way to combat the ‘You should go and do such and such’ is with a softer ‘it will be nice when the activity is completed’ or ‘it will be useful to have this activity finished’.

This will then lead you to think about the activity when it is done, which should provide more motivation for you. Alternatively if an image or video of the task being done doesn’t fill you with motivation, then perhaps you could change it to a video of the task completed, and see how much more motivated you become. Think of the task as finished instead of the process of actually doing the task (especially if it is a mundane activity such as doing the dishes).

Everybody’s motivation strategy will be different and what works for one person may not necessarily work for somebody else. It is best to learn what goes on in your own mind, and if it is not producing the results you want, then change it.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation motivate, motivational

When making changes in your life, a technique that you can use that can help focus your mind, as well as provide you with motivation is writing a letter to yourself. The letter is addressed to you at some point in the future, either 6 months or 1 or 2 years time. In the letter you write as if you are living your ideal life with all the changes you wish to make having been made.

Describe your ideal life in detail, where you live, your relationships, your work and the way you feel. Create a visual image using sensory rich detail and emotions. Write as if you are living the life right now in the present tense.

Write it back to yourself, don’t hold back or be reserved about what you have achieved, really let your imagination run wild, have fun with it, don’t sensor it because you think it is too unrealistic.

Write the letter as if it is from a happier more fulfilled you at some point in the future.

Some examples of things you might want to include are;

Dear Yourself,

• I am currently living in …
• It’s nice to have …
• I am …
• I never thought it would be like this …
• It just goes to show …
• Right now my life is amazing …
• I have managed to …
• I have many …
• Next week I will be …
• Just last week …
• I never thought life could be …
• My ‘####’ is really going really well …

When completed read it back to yourself and pick out a few things that you can start working on straight away. Have fun!

admin Goal Setting / Motivation Goal Setting / Motivation, inspire, motivate, motivational

Poverty consciousness is related to motivation, we are either moving away from something, moving towards something or sometimes both. When people are motivated by moving away from things, (things they don’t want, distress, discomfort or pain) they don’t always pay too much attention to where they are going to end up. When people pay too much attention on their problems and not on solutions it can be a bit like ‘out of the frying pan and into the fire’, their attention is on what they don’t want, and not on what they do want. To put it another way, they won’t see where they are going, because they keep looking at where they’ve been, this is what is known as ‘poverty consciousness’.

Successful achievers generally don’t wait until something gets bad before they do something about it, they take action before pain or discomfort forces them to.

Are you a worrier, do you get anxious a lot? You are probably somebody who is motivated by moving away from things as opposed to moving towards things. Once you move away from something and the problem gets further away, you may well start to lose your motivation, as the problem no longer exists. When motivating yourself it is important to understand if you are moving towards something or away.

The boss that drives you crazy, the work colleagues that annoy you can provide you with plenty of reasons to find another job, the ‘move away’ from motivational strategies can be a very powerful force. However if you predominately keep moving away from things where will this take you?

A low salary can spur you onto learn new skills so your earning potential increases. A car that keeps breaking down can motivate you to save money to buy a new one. A cold wet winter can motivate you to book a holiday.

But when you are constantly moving away from things the question surely becomes what are you heading for exactly, where is all this taking you? It is good to be motivated, either towards something or away from something, but if you find yourself always moving away from something and not actually towards anything then maybe a balance needs to be found.

It is when too much attention is put on what you don’t want at the expense of looking towards and making plans for what you do want in the future.

I am guilty of this, I know what I don’t want but this just means I know what I want to avoid, however it doesn’t help me focus on what I do want.

The way your mind operates is such that when you say you don’t want something, it still has to focus on what you don’t want, your mind doesn’t understand negation.

I don’t want to lose money (last thing you mind thinks is ‘LOSE MONEY’)
I don’t want to work in an office (mind thinks about working in an office)
I don’t want to etc……

It can be hard to create a compelling future for yourself if all you are doing is imaging all the things you don’t want. Always looking at how bad it has been, how bad it is, all the things you have never had, all the places you have never been, all the unhappy times you have had, all the miserable jobs you have had. This is ‘poverty consciousness’ in action.

‘That job didn’t work out because ….’
‘I remember working there it was so ….’
‘I’ve never had any real money, life has always been ….’

What are you moving towards right now? Take a list of all the things you don’t want and change it into a list of things you do want.

Avoid ‘poverty consciousness’ and start looking at where you are headed and what you are going to have in the future.

If you have a lot of ‘move away’ from strategies then change them into ‘move towards’ instead to get a more balanced motivation strategy. For example change ‘I don’t want to work for my boss’ into ‘I want to work for myself’.

Don’t fall into the trap of always being motivated to move away from something and towards nothing.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation motivational, The mind

To find the value of one year: Ask a student who just failed a final exam.

To find the value of one month: Ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To find the value of one week: Ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To find the value of one hour: Ask the lovers who wait to meet.

To find the value of one minute: Ask a person who missed a plane.

To find the value of one second: Ask a person who survived a car accident.

To find the value of one millisecond: Ask the person who won a silver medal at the
Olympics.

Time waits for no one.

-Anonymous.

admin Inspirational Inspirational, inspire, motivate, motivational

Are there things in your life that you should be doing but you are finding it hard to motivate yourself to do them? If it is all starting to seem like hard work, then try changing the words you use to motivate yourself when you need to complete a task. Try saying you ‘want’ to do something, instead of saying you ‘have’ to do something. For example most of us might say something like:

I have to do my laundry today.

You wouldn’t normally say ‘I want to do my laundry today’, although you might.

Or another example would be:

‘I have to get my groceries today’, not ‘I want to get my groceries today’

The above are every day examples and it doesn’t really matter how you word them they will still get done.

But what about using it with activities that we sometimes struggle to get motivated for, like going to the gym? Instead of saying:

‘I have to go to the gym today’

you would say:

‘I want to go the gym today’

or

‘I have to complete this assignment by Monday morning’

becomes

‘I want to get this assignment completed by Monday morning’.

or

‘I have to lose weight’

changes to

‘I want to lose weight’

Just changing the words ‘have’ and ‘want’ can change how you look at what you are doing. Try it and see if it works for you.

If you suffer with Procrastination from time to time, why not put off not doing something? alternatively say ‘There are things I want to do today’.

This way you can become more motivated to complete the activities you should be doing.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation motivate, motivational

What drives you? What gets you all fired up and ready to go? What could you talk about for hours? What are your motivations in life? Being motivated is having a clear picture of something you want in your life and having the drive and energy to take action to obtain it. To change anything in your life you will need motivation. Ultimately motivation is the driving force of everything we do in our lives.

Sometimes just knowing that your life is not taking you to where you want to go is motivation enough to do something about it.

See yourself in 5 years time doing exactly the same thing you are now, living the same lifestyle, inspired? If not get some fire in your belly and do something about it.

You have to look into the future and see yourself and see the things that you want in your life. What are your goals? Lifestyle, Financial, personal? How much better will your life be when you have these things? Just imagine how different your life will be in the future if you start to get motivated right now?

When we are motivated we are either motivated to move away from something or to move towards something. For example ‘I want to move to a bigger house.’ (move towards) or ‘I don’t want to work in an office anymore’ (Move away from).

I think it is important to be motivated to move towards something, something that you can continually work at.

You don’t need to go to college to learn motivation, you can have it right now, and it alone can do more for your success in life than any qualification ever can. When you are motivated you can find extra energy to do more, see more and learn more in your life. Without it you will stay exactly where you are. If you have no motivation to change your life, then take a look around, because nothing is going to be changing in your life anytime soon.

“The past is like a river flowing out of sight; the future is an ocean filled with opportunity and delight.”
-Anna Hoxie

admin Goal Setting / Motivation Changing direction, Inspirational, motivate, motivational