Where you are now

December 4th, 2008

The actions we have taken in the past have bought us to where we are now, this is a fact. Look around you now, you are where you are because of a decision or decisions you made at some earlier or perhaps quite recent time in your life. There is nobody else to blame for where you are right now, if there is anyone is to blame at all. Accept it as it is, if you are happy to, if not then change it.

All life experiences are useful

Whatever you experience in life good or bad, you are always in a position to look upon it as a learning experience; doing so enables you to move your life forward in a new positive direction. If you have had a bad experience, instead of dwelling on the negative, take what learning’s you can from it and move on.

Always look upon life as a learning experience, if you have experienced something today that you haven’t experienced before, good or bad you are now more knowledgeable than you were yesterday, is this not a fact, and with this new knowledge you are in a better position to make a more informed decision on where you should be tomorrow or further into the future.

There is no greater teacher than experience, when you experience something you gain a firsthand account of what it feels like, looks like and even smells like. This knowledge will never leave you, and whenever there is a time when you need to make a decision about what to do in the future, you will, if you need to, be able to reference past experiences to help make a better more informed decision.

It is sometimes better in life to take action, get the experience, learn from it and move on, even if it isn’t the most enjoyable or you think you have wasted your time, you haven’t. You have always learnt something.

admin Inspirational ,

Benefits of creating change in your life

November 29th, 2008

What would you like in 3 months that you don’t have now? What about 6 months or a year from now? If you know your life is not taking you where you want to be than that is a sure enough reason to do something about it. If the image you get of yourself in the future doesn’t fill you with excitement or motivation then you need to do something about it. Your life is special and you should not waste it doing something for which you are not suited to or that you don’t enjoy. If you find yourself in the position of not knowing what to do with your life this is OK, understand that at this point in your life there are many opportunities available to you.

Don’t limit what is possible in your life through narrow thinking, you can have what you want, believing anything else is pointless and will lead you into a spiral of despair and negativity.

If you don’t believe you can have the life you want then you will more than likely end up depressed, so the first step to creating the life you want to is to believe it will happen.

You will need to be your own best friend right from the start; you will need to have your mind working for you not against you if you are to get remotely close to having the life you envisage for yourself.

What exactly do you stand to benefit by making changes to your life?

  • Increased happiness / well being
  • Greater wealth
  • Increased self esteem / self confidence
  • Improved outlook, more optimistic
  • Healthier mind / body
  • More friends, wider social circle
  • Greater job satisfaction
  • More satisfaction to live for now rather than wait for some point in the future to arrive
  • Better relationships
  • Career success
  • More excitement
  • Stress free life / More security

Feelings associated with successful change:

admin Beliefs, Changing direction, Happiness, New Ideas (creative thinking) ,

Dreaming

November 20th, 2008

Are you a dreamer or are you somebody believes that your future has already been written in stone and that your fate is down to genetics? Maybe you believe that dreaming is just simply wishful thinking, if you do you are only half right. Because dreaming is good for you, it can stimulate your brain to go into the future and visualize amazing new life situations for yourself. Of course another ingredient is needed and that is action, but dreaming in itself is a good activity to be engaged in as long as you understand that it alone won’t get you what you want. Never just accept your life as it is, especially if it is not what you want for yourself. This attitude will never help you, it is defeatist. Instead always choose to imagine what is possible in your life. Dare to dream that your life could be so much greater than it is at the present moment.

Don’t ever let your age or your current job act as limits to where you can be in the future. There are many obstacles that people face in their lives that are imposed on them by themselves; age and current job are two of them. Always continue to grow, develop and learn new things in your life. You never finish evolving and you never reach a certain age when things will never be different, we are all work in progress, there are ways in which everybody can improve on themselves. Appreciate what you have but understand you can always have more.

“We are all better than we know, if only we can be bought to realize this, we may never again be prepared to settle for anything less.”

Kurt Hahn ‘Founder of Outward bound.’

Never accept for yourself a life that’s anything less than what you desire the most. Don’t be like 99% of people who just accept their life as it is, and that it can never be changed, or that you should just be happy with what you have got even if it isn’t what you want. If your life now is not something you dreamed about when you were younger, you are not living the dream and so you need to ask yourself why?

admin Inspirational

Be Special, don’t be average - Accept nothing but the best

November 18th, 2008

Ninety nine percent of people out there settle for what they perceive to be an ‘OK’ life for themselves, they aren’t really rich but then again they aren’t poor, they have achieved some things but also failed to achieve other things. These people have accepted their lot and have settled on being average. People who are average and who have settled for mediocrity in their life are not the most inspiring people, and the worst thing of all is that they don’t want you to succeed; they want you to be like them. It makes them feel better knowing that you are on the same level as they are.

Let’s face it not everyone will succeed in life, some people simply don’t want to succeed, maybe they believe it is easier for them to just stay as they are, these sort of people always offer excuses as to why they won’t get what they want or succeed in life.

They come up with excuses such as…

  • They say they are too old (if only they were 10 years younger)
  • Too many bills to pay
  • Lack of time
  • Destiny has already been planned for them
  • Family commitments
  • Success requires a lot of money to start with
  • Lack of a good education
  • No influential friends who can help them out

Why do so many people settle for mediocrity like it was some destiny already planned for them?

99% will not bother to create change in their lives. Why is this? Who knows? They are content with being average just like everybody else. Maybe some people don’t believe they can achieve success, or perhaps they believe that they don’t even deserve it.

Be special and different, never make excuses and never accept anything less than the best for your life.

“There is nothing with which everyman is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.”

An amazing life

It is a sad fact of life but go getters and successful people are the minority, pathetic, average and weak people are the majority.

There are many people in this world who are living lives well below what they could be living. They are average people leading average lives simply because they don’t believe it is possible for them to live any other way.

For example let’s say person A has a goal to make one million in 3 years, and person B has a goal to make $100,000 in 3 years. Neither goal is easy although at first glance it may appear that person A’s goal is much harder and will take more effort, the reality is both goals are equally as hard, they will take an equal amount of effort from both people if they are to be successful. The mind will take you wherever you want to go, it will focus on whatever you want to focus on. The difference is that person B only believes he will only be able to make a certain amount and no more, both people are correct in what they believe for themselves, which is why it is so important to think big, thinking small isn’t worth the effort.

“Under achievers are some of the hardest workers around, their problem comes not from their ability to take action, it comes from their inability to set big enough goals and a lack of belief they will achieve them.”

Don’t be someone who under achieves in life, the world already has enough people like this. A lack of ambition will not help you get what you want in life, life can be very different for you, and the first step to leading an amazing life is to not settle for mediocrity.

If you are confident you can achieve any goal you set for yourself and have the self belief and motivation to go make something happen for yourself, don’t let the size of your goal be a limitation for you. Think big, think better, think beyond your wildest imagination, get excited, believe and go out and show the world you have what it takes to turn your dream into a reality.

admin Inspirational ,

Tips for dealing with negative internal dialogue

November 8th, 2008

Mindless Chatter, Slow it down! - Whenever you hear your internal voice start to chatter, make a conscious effort to slow the voice down to half speed, keep doing this for as long as the voice is bugging you, really slow it down until it becomes too difficult to even listen to the voice. Keep doing this until the voice stops altogether.

Internal Voice (Shut it up?)

Every time your internal voice starts getting negative and dominating your thoughts start to count to 100, once you have done this do it again until it becomes tiresome and you no longer can be bothered anymore, if the internal voice starts again, begin counting once more.

Instructive not critical

When you talk to yourself instead of criticizing what you have or haven’t done, instead provide yourself with useful instructions about what to do next based on what you have learnt from experiencing what you have or haven’t already done.

At night

If when trying to get to sleep at night you have lots of images and chatter going on in your head, then you will more than likely find it difficult to fall asleep. If as you lie in bed you have internal dialogue, slow down the tempo and turn the volume down so that the voice whispers, if you are also making images darken them like when the lights go out in the theatre.

Give these techniques a go and see how you get on.

admin Mind ,

Your ideal life situation

November 2nd, 2008

Is this you?

There may be times when your life situation may not be what you want it to be, and there may be times when for whatever reason our life doesn’t always resemble what we thought it would be like. We may not like to admit it at times, but sometimes our life situation can become a distant relative to what we want it to be like.

Your job may no longer inspire you, you may lose your creative instincts and the drive you know you once had. Your days may become long and your interest in life might dwindle, the flame, the passion you once had for your job is no longer there. You may really want to leave your job but you haven’t got the courage to take the leap of faith, so instead it becomes better the devil you know, or the lesser of two evils.

When you arrive home after another tedious day spent in the office, you may find you have zero energy to do anything and instead find yourself escaping reality for a while by watching countless hours of mindless television. You get up the next day reluctantly and repeat the cycle once more.

You travel to work and ask yourself as you sit on the bus, ‘how did I let my life get like this?’

You know you have to do something, all is not well in your life and deep down you realize your life won’t change all by itself. You have lost touch with who you are and what you really want, life has become your worst nightmare you are simply going through the motions.

You know you are capable of more, so much more. You are currently and have been under achieving now for far too long. You know you have the capacity to be someone special who achieves success in life; you know your life can be different, if only you could find that something which would motivate you to get going again.

You know the time has come, you can’t go on living the way you have been, you have got to step up and make the changes, it is time to take the bull by the horns, this much is certain.

It is time to change

So you know the time is now but taking action seems to be harder than you imagined, the difference between wanting to do something and actually doing it is actually quite large. All of a sudden you begin to question whether it is worth the effort. Perhaps now as you see the time has come and all that is required to change you begin to think that maybe you should just accept your life the way it is and just get on with it.

This would be a tragedy, a mistake of huge proportions, something which you must not let happen at any cost. It takes tremendous courage to take control of your life, most people never do. Remember it takes real effort and guts to change your life and grab control of your reigns. When you do step up and do what is required to make changes in your life you fall into the minority, as most never do, so once you decide to do something, congratulate yourself.


It can be done

The first step is identifying what it is you want to have, then to start taking action to make it happen.

Become inspired by your own life, it takes great confidence however old you are to take your life in a new direction but it can be done. Be positive and optimistic about what will happen in your future. Be proud of yourself to take the decision to create a new life for yourself. This is going to be a fun and exciting time for you as you go forth and write a new chapter in the play called ‘your life’.

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to ones courage.”

admin Changing direction ,

Re-labeling behavior

October 27th, 2008

Re-labeling the external part of a negative belief - So let’s say you have a limiting belief that involves or is based on some behavior exhibited by yourself or someone else. Are there other meanings you could give the behavior that would make it much more positive? Are there any other terms or labels that could reduce, alter or transform the meaning of the external behavior?

For example - ‘I’m not clever enough.’

Is being clever really the issue here? What about if this is a sign that you just need to study more. Do you really believe just because you aren’t clever enough you won’t be able to succeed in other areas of your life? Is being clever the be all and end all of everything?

Well OK let’s say it’s true, so you may have to give up on the idea of being a Brain Surgeon, but it really doesn’t stop you from achieving an infinite number of things in other areas of your life does it?

Maybe not clever enough but still clever right? You might not be clever enough but you are determined and motivated to get where you want to go are you not? Maybe your IQ isn’t up there with Einstein’s but whose is? If we were in another country now, how would this hold up? Would people in other cultures use this belief to prevent them from having what they wanted in life?

What about if you looked upon this as an indication that you are not where you want to be yet, you could become clever enough if you made study a priority in your life. In what situations are you not clever enough? Are you clever in some situations and not in others?

I suppose if we are mixing with the best intellects of our time then this might hold true, but what about in everyday life, surely you are clever enough? Are you sat around doctors with PhD’s when you say this? What about saying ‘I’m not quite up to their level in terms of education’ or ‘These guys have certainly read a lot more books on the subject than I have’?

admin Beliefs , ,

Re-frame a negative belief with your own values

October 22nd, 2008

When you have a negative belief try re-framing it with some of your values in life. For example with a belief such as ‘I’ll never be able to learn Japanese’, you could say something like - It looks like it is important for you to learn a language? You must value people who speak a second language. Do you also value the time it takes to learn a language and the dedication and commitment required? Which do you feel you should concentrate more on to be true to yourself?

Do you think it would be better to spend time saying you won’t be able to learn Japanese or instead spend time actually listening to audio tapes and reading books about the Japanese language?

So you do care about learning a language, with this in mind can you think of ways that you will be able to learn Japanese?

Some questions you may want to ask yourself:

  • What are some of your higher criteria or values?
  • What would happen if you applied your higher values and principles to the negative belief?
  • Which of your values would prove useful to apply on this belief?
  • What values would qualify your negative belief in such a way as to make it much less limiting?

admin Beliefs , ,

Staff meetings

October 17th, 2008

A story about re-labeling behavior - Sam always hated meetings at work, not because she didn’t like talking or that she felt self conscious, it was because (in her eyes at least) everybody at the meeting were a lot more intelligent than she was. Sure they worked in different departments, and they were bought into the company to do different jobs, but Sam just believed them all to be slightly superior to her, more capable and this always made Sam feel uneasy when at staff meetings.

You see everybody was supposed to talk at staff meetings, they were open discussions and everyone present was expected to participate. Most people did participate all except one, Sam.

One particular meeting was all about new strategies and ideas that they could implement on their current project which was currently behind schedule. It was a typical meeting, lots of brainstorming of ideas and as was common some well thought out strategies were being put forward. As usual Sam played the part of the careful observer, listening intently to what others had to say but not putting any ideas of her own across.

Nobody ever said anything to Sam, but she always felt uncomfortable and it was this feeling of discomfort which would really get under her skin. She would often think about it for hours after the meeting had finished. In her mind everybody else was more intelligent than she was. Their discussions proved that, as clear well thought out comments were always present in every meeting.

In Sam’s eyes it was because her colleagues produced clear concise ideas at the meetings that made them more intelligent than she was. This was what she thought anyway.

Sam thought about this for a while, she started to wonder what other ways she could look at their behavior? Was it true that because they spoke clearly at each meeting it meant that they were more intelligent than everybody else? Maybe it was because they had never been afraid to speak out that their ideas always seemed so clear and well thought out.

Could it be that they had been exposed to meetings more than Sam and so found it easier to articulate their ideas? What about if they were taken out of the meeting? Sam knew she performed just as well as her colleagues outside of the meeting room, it was just in the meetings where she failed to perform.

Did it really mean that because someone spoke up in a meeting they were more intelligent than those who remained quiet? Sam started to think that this was absurd, and rightly so, she started to come up with alternative conclusions for the behavior that her colleagues displayed in the meetings.

  • They had more practice
  • They weren’t afraid to speak their mind
  • They were used to it
  • They had done it many times before
  • They didn’t worry what others thought

Sam thought about these new ways of labeling their behavior, rather than say they were more intelligent it made more sense to attribute it to more experience.

And so armed with this new way of thinking about her colleagues behavior Sam started to formulate her own plan for contributing more in meetings, she now knew it wasn’t down to intelligence but rather lack of experience, so little by little, speaking more in each meeting Sam began to involve herself in staff meetings more and more, and was soon not only putting forward her own ideas but also having them adhered to in the weeks that followed.

Sam felt great and no longer felt inferior or worried when a staff meeting was called.

admin Random , , ,

What will your negative belief produce?

October 12th, 2008

One way to think about any negative or limiting belief you have is what exactly it will do for you in the future, or what are some of the consequences that the belief could produce? In particular do you like what you see when the belief plays out in the future? For example - ‘I feel too lazy to implement any of my goals.’

Where exactly will you be in 3 months time with this attitude? It is fair to say with this attitude that in 3 months time you will be exactly where you are now. You would have produced absolutely nothing. In the long run this will get you nowhere, is this what you want? Is this really acceptable for yourself?

If you continue to have this belief just exactly where will you go in life? Would it be better if you didn’t have any goals, would you then feel less lazy?

If this is an embedded command to your nervous system then do you really want to feel lazy about your goals? Are your goals such that they cause you to be indifferent about achieving them?

Are your goals so lofty that the reason you say this is so you can develop a ‘I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it’ attitude? It sounds like you are prepared to not achieve any of your goals by way of you feeling lazy, is that what you want? Is where you are now your highest path, if so take a look around and congratulate yourself?

Well you obviously have goals and you do care about achieving them, Is this attitude really helping you achieve your objectives?

(Assume you are achieving some success)

When you keep telling yourself this, it seems that you are forgetting how many of your goals you have already achieved, if this is feeling lazy imagine what you could achieve if you were feeling motivated.

admin Positive Thinking ,