Create Change in your life

What drives you? What gets you all fired up and ready to go? What could you talk about for hours? What are your motivations in life? Being motivated is having a clear picture of something you want in your life and having the drive and energy to take action to obtain it. To change anything in your life you will need motivation. Ultimately motivation is the driving force of everything we do in our lives.

Sometimes just knowing that your life is not taking you to where you want to go is motivation enough to do something about it.

See yourself in 5 years time doing exactly the same thing you are now, living the same lifestyle, inspired? If not get some fire in your belly and do something about it.

You have to look into the future and see yourself and see the things that you want in your life. What are your goals? Lifestyle, Financial, personal? How much better will your life be when you have these things? Just imagine how different your life will be in the future if you start to get motivated right now?

When we are motivated we are either motivated to move away from something or to move towards something. For example ‘I want to move to a bigger house.’ (move towards) or ‘I don’t want to work in an office anymore’ (Move away from).

I think it is important to be motivated to move towards something, something that you can continually work at.

You don’t need to go to college to learn motivation, you can have it right now, and it alone can do more for your success in life than any qualification ever can. When you are motivated you can find extra energy to do more, see more and learn more in your life. Without it you will stay exactly where you are. If you have no motivation to change your life, then take a look around, because nothing is going to be changing in your life anytime soon.

“The past is like a river flowing out of sight; the future is an ocean filled with opportunity and delight.”
-Anna Hoxie

admin Goal Setting / Motivation Changing direction, Inspirational, motivate, motivational

Have you ever been in a situation where you think somebody doubts your ability to do a job, and then you start to doubt yourself as well? Or maybe you just doubt your ability without anyone else involved. When somebody says to you ‘You can’t do something’, or ‘You’ll never be able to do that’, then that is just their opinion and nothing else, it is only when you start to believe such statements that it can affect your confidence and your outlook on life.

I know I can’t speak Korean, but knowing this doesn’t affect my life in any negative way. I mean if I want to I could learn to speak it. Just because I can’t do something doesn’t mean I won’t be able to in the future and it certainly doesn’t mean I am an incompetent person who can’t learn things.

As an example; Let’s say you arrive at work and see that you have a load of problems to solve ASAP, do you all of a sudden start to feel slightly apprehensive, maybe even a little skeptical of your ability to solve the problems? Perhaps before you know it you are sitting there feeling very unconfident. People can hear in your voice that you are not confident, you are speaking very slowly so nobody can hear what you are saying, you start to muddle your words and sound incoherent. It’s not a pretty site yet it probably all started with your own self doubt about solving a particular problem which then snowballed into huge self doubt, which then made the rest of your day miserable.

Even if you find yourself in a position where you can’t do something, you can at least state that in a confident way and move on with your life. At least be sure that if you wanted to learn something that you could do and just because you can’t do something at a particular moment in time doesn’t mean you should feel bad about yourself. A lack of self confidence in one area shouldn’t spill over to other areas of your life.

I don’t believe anybody can really affect your lack of self confidence the way you can. For most things that we are now doing in our lives, (that we can do competently) there would have been a time when it was the first time we did them, nobody is born with the ability to be good at everything. When we are young we haven’t learnt to be negative and so we don’t doubt ourselves when we start something new. Doubting ourselves and our abilities are all learned behaviors. We learn to be self conscious and insecure.

Only you can really decide how you feel about anything that happens to you. What will it take to have that inner belief about yourself that whatever you do you will do well and with confidence?

If you are faced with problems at work or in your personal life, I recommend that you break it down into smaller chunks and deal with one chunk at a time rather than see the problem as one big whole that has to be solved. Don’t let one little problem affect your whole self-image in a negative way.

Don’t let others decide how you are going to feel; what other people think is of no consequence compared to what you think of yourself. Speak positively of yourself, don’t put yourself down.

The only person who can affect the way you feel about yourself and your abilities is YOU.

admin Positive Thinking change your life, motivate, The mind

What will it take for you to stand up and do something about your life? Maybe you get up to go to a job that doesn’t inspire you one little bit, work for 12 hours, then come home, have no time to do anything for yourself, maybe watch TV for a while before going to bed and repeat the process for the next 5 days. How you wish it was different. What exactly has happened? How did your life get like this?

I know you would like to do something about it, deep down inside you know that there is something that is not quite right with your life. Maybe the job you are doing just doesn’t inspire you anymore. You realize you have lost touch with who you really are and are doing something that is not in line with your core values. You find yourself in a position where you are just going through the motions. Does this sound familiar?

You know you are not firing on all cylinders. You haven’t been firing on all cylinders for a while. You know you are capable of so much more. And what makes it worse is that you seem to be surrounded by people who seem to be happy and content with their lives. Makes you sick doesn’t it?

OK so you know that you have to do something, you just can’t go on like this, you need a change that much is for sure.

But knowing you have to do something and actually doing it can be quite different. I personally believe most people will just accept their life for what it is and just ‘get on with it’. However it takes courage to change your life. When you do something about changing your life or anything about yourself, you are doing what most people don’t do, you are already in the minority, and that takes guts my friend, guts!

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to ones courage.”

So go for it! Take the leap, start by identifying what it is that you want to change, then take the steps required to make it happen. Learn to become inspired by your own life. It takes great confidence however old you are, wherever you are or whatever you are doing to initiate change and not many people will ever do that.

Take pride in your decision to set forth a new dimension to your life. This is an exciting time for you right now, you are about to write a new chapter in the play called ‘Your Life’, so remember to stay positive and optimistic about what will happen for you in the future.

admin Inspirational Inspirational

How often do you write down your goals or desired outcomes? Do you set goals weekly, monthly, daily or yearly or not at all? How often do you achieve your goals? What was the last goal you achieved for yourself? Do you achieve your goals? I think setting goals is important, because let’s face it if you have no desired goal, then you have no direction and you run the risk of just drifting and letting life pass you by.

Time waits for no man. Six months from now what do you want to have in your life that you don’t have at the moment? What about 1 year from now, or 5 years? Where do you want to be?

Most of us have some sort of goal, even if it’s to pay off the mortgage. For some it might be to save up for a holiday or to buy that new car you have always wanted. For others it might be something more personal. Maybe you have career goals, relationship goals, health goals, financial goals, or self development goals.

Here are a few examples:

• Lose weight
• Become financially independent
• Learn a language
• Get a promotion at work
• Find a new partner
• Learn to sing
• Learn to play the Guitar
• Climb Mount Everest

Have you ever written down your goals or are they parked away in the back of your mind? I wonder how many people would rather watch TV then actually spend time writing down their goals? Maybe people don’t write down their goals because they don’t believe they can achieve them?

If you don’t have goals, how will you ever achieve anything in life? Goals are fundamental to success in life?

One way I have recently learnt is to use NLP to help clarify what the goal is by way of asking certain specific questions. This way it helps you become clear in your own mind what exactly it is that you want, why you want it and how you will know when you attain it.

Try asking yourself the following questions in relation to your specific goal; Maybe write them on a piece of paper, or type them out, then print it out and stick it somewhere where you will see it every day.

• What specifically do you want?
• What will that do for you?
• What will this outcome get for you or allow you to do?

• How will you know when you have got it?
• What will you see hear and feel?
• How will someone else know when you have got it?
• What is the first step?
• What is the last step?

• When, where and with who do you want it?
• How long do you want it for?
• Is the outcome in keeping with your sense of who you are?
• What do you get out of your current behavior that you would wish to preserve?
• What time frame will this outcome need?
• Who else is affected and how will they feel?
• How does it fit in with your other outcomes?
• How does it increase your choices?
• What will happen if you get it?
• What won’t happen if you get it?

• Can you start and maintain it?
• What resources have you already got (skills, people, money, objects etc)?
• What resources do you need?
• Who has already succeeded in achieving this outcome?

When you are clear about what your goal is and what you have to do to get it, you can begin to take steps to work towards getting it. Try it and see how you get on!

admin Goal Setting / Motivation Goal Setting / Motivation

Do you dream about what your future may hold for you? Or do you believe dreaming is just wishful thinking, and that your fate has already been decided for you? Have you already decided that what you do is what you do, you are who you are and that you must just accept your lot for what is and just get on with life? This is not the sort of attitude that I want. I never want to stop dreaming, I’ll always be thinking about what’s possible for me in my lifetime.

Some medical researcher will probably one day find some health benefits to dreaming (if they haven’t already). I think it’s healthy to get lost in day dreams from time to time.

The process of dreaming creates images in your mind, which should then

admin Mind The mind

Did you know that body language can affect how you feel, and how you feel can affect your body language? It is known as physiology. Think for a moment, what does a confident person look like? How do you know they are confident? What are some physical characteristics of confidence? Here are some hints:

• Eye Contact
• Good posture (standing up straight)
• Smile
• No nervous movements
• Head looking up

I think this is important, because we all benefit when we project a confident image.

Or what about this, what does a non confident person look like? How could you spot a non confident person?

• No eye contact
• Head looking down
• Not smiling
• Bad posture
• Fidgeting with body (biting nails, holding clothes)

Your body can affect your thoughts. If you adopt the physical characteristics of a confident person you will feel more confident. Over 90% of our communication is non verbal, so when you adopt these characteristics of confidence, you are already telegraphing to people that you are confident, and this is before you have even opened your mouth.

Just walking down the street with your head up, good posture, and a smile on your face will make you feel good. I know sometimes that we all get caught up in our own worlds and our own thoughts, and sometimes we simply don’t feel like smiling, but just try this, it really does work. I believe there are great benefits to it.

Why do I think this is important? I think that good body language can show to others that you are happy in who you are. This one little thing can give out the right message when you meet people, and when you are out and about on a day to day basis. You don’t need the flash car or the large wallet to be someone, you just need to show people you are happy being you, and one way to do this is by having confident body language.

admin Confidence Self-confidence

Do you ever speak negatively to yourself, maybe you put yourself down in front of others, or perhaps you have difficulty accepting praise? (maybe you don’t think you deserve it). These are all related to low self esteem and lack of self confidence. If you do, why? I am working towards eliminating this sort of thing from my life completely and would recommend that you do the same.

It simply does not pay to put yourself down when you are on a path of self development or self improvement. For every little success you have will be negated by the negative self talk or attitudes you have towards yourself. It’s like one step forward, negative self talk, then two steps back.

Wherever you want to get to in life, whatever you want to do, it is imperative that you become your own best friend first. Why bother with self doubt and loathing? Look where they have got you? Put them behind you, they haven’t served any useful purpose up until now and they won’t serve a useful purpose in the future. All they do is keep you stuck, in a self perpetuating loop of negativity and self doubt.

In what situations do you speak negatively towards yourself? Maybe you make a mistake at work and say to yourself ‘I’m an idiot, I always do this’? Or maybe you left the house one day and forgot to bring some important paperwork with you? Do you remind yourself that you are ‘useless person who always forgets things’? Or perhaps you say something even more severe?

What good does it do talking to yourself like this? You are essentially beating yourself up (at least mentally anyway). Do you feel better when you do this? It is like you have this deep belief that you are an idiot, and that this event (whatever it may be) has just proved it correct.

It’s not useful and it gets you nowhere. Instead it just leaves you feeling negative and bad about yourself.

In this day and age, time waits for no one, to be successful you need to be on your own side. You need to continually support yourself, through everything you do, it is important to give yourself praise when you make progress (however small) and not to berate yourself when things go wrong.

Remember this if you are having a bad day, or things aren’t going right for you, don’t beat yourself up, you are on a path, you have a goal, don’t get upset by minor things in life, nothing is really that bad. Don’t let anyone else define your happiness. Only you control if you are happy or not, nobody else.

Life can be hard enough without you being your own worst enemy. Always be your own best friend. Learn to accept yourself for who you are at any moment in time.

admin Positive Thinking Positive Thinking

So what is NLP? NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic programming, it is a model of human excellence, how the language of the mind is used to achieve results, it is the structure of how we do what we do.

Neuro - Nerves, pathways, neurology.
Linguistic - Language, the way we communicate, verbal / non verbal, conscious, unconscious.
programming - Strategies, repeated patterns of speech and behavior.

I have read books on NLP and listened to various NLP audio. I find the area of NLP fascinating. I think it is great tool for overcoming problems and creating a better life for yourself. In particular I would like to use it for overcoming negative beliefs, improving confidence and communication skills, setting goals and creating a better future for myself. I have just recently finished a NLP life skills course. The course was 10 weeks covering the following topics:

• Communication
• Rapport
• Representational systems
• Work / Life balance
• Outcomes / setting goals
• NLP presuppositions

Here are some useful communication beliefs used in NLP:

• Everyone lives in their own model of the world.
• Mind and body are part of the same system. What affects one affects the other.
• A person cannot not communicate.
• If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something else.
• There is no failure only feedback.
• The meaning of the communication is the response you get.
• If one person can do it, anybody can.
• Everyone has all the resources they need.
• Every behavior has a positive intention.
• People make the best choices available to them at the time.
• The map is not the territory.
• More choice is better than no choice.
• Respect for everyone’s model of the world.

Some of these can be very useful when applied to your own life, I particularly like; ‘There is no failure only feedback’, ‘If one person can do it, anybody can’ and ‘Everyone has all the resources they need.’

Imagine going through life, with the belief that failure didn’t exist, and instead of failing at things you just got feedback as to what worked and what didn’t. What about ‘everyone has all the resources they need’. What does this mean to you? To me this implies that we all have within us the ability to create any reality we want for ourselves. We shouldn’t have to rely on anyone else to change us, ultimately it is down to each of us individually.

admin Mind NLP, The mind

Welcome to my blog, this will be my first ever post… this is where it all starts. So what’s this blog all about? Well this blog is all about creating change in your life, how you can help yourself to become the person you want to become, or do the thing you most want to do.

I am not quite sure what will go into this blog at the moment, but I know it will help me clarify my own thoughts and thinking, and maybe help other people to. Although I believe it will contain information around the following subjects, NLP, developing self confidence, setting goals, changing direction, overcoming shyness, removing negative thinking, how the mind works and some of my own random thoughts. I am by no means an expert in any of these fields, what this blog will contain will be my own thoughts on things I have read, things I have done, or activities that I am currently doing to help me promote change in my life.

I think there are times in all of our lives, where things don’t quite go our way. Perhaps we become bored of who we are, lose interest in our jobs, suffer from depression, lose self esteem or maybe we just have a desire to change something in our lives, be it ourselves or what we do. I think if you are one of these people you will find something useful in this blog.

admin Random