Create Change in your life

Are you afraid of being successful? What stops you going out there and taking control of your life? Making a million (if that’s what you want). What stops you becoming everything you know you can be? Is it fear? Fear of losing what you have already, fear of the unknown, fear of putting yourself out there? Fear of change itself? Do you believe that you will not get what you want from life? If you do, stop that, and instead believe that it can happen and that it will happen. This one change in thinking can have a dramatic effect on your life.

Start believing you can make a million dollars, start believing you can live in the place you want to live in, start thinking about all the details, what it will look like, where it will be. If you start thinking that certain things will happen in your life your mind will start to look at ways to make them happen. Likewise if you think things won’t happen in your life your mind will look at ways to confirm this.

Do you really want to create change in your life or do you just want to be one of the herd, one of the many who bury their head in the sand to what is possible for them and their life? Do you want to be one of many or one of a few, the few who create unrivalled wealth and happiness for themselves?

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that our aim is too low and we reach it.”

Is it really so frightening taking charge of your life, as opposed to letting someone else or a company control and dictate it for you? Surely taking charge is something to look forward to and embrace.

It takes real guts to change your life. It’s easy to keep things as they are, or is it? Not many people stick their head out from the crowd and really create the life they want for themselves, after all safety in numbers right? Better to just go along with it like everyone else.

Fear will prevent you from doing so much in your life. Turn fear into confidence, instead of being afraid of what might not happen, be confident of the things that will happen in your life. Set your sights high, dare to dream big. Don’t put limitations on what you think you can achieve in life.

As an exercise; Picture if you will for a few minutes yourself as an old man/woman looking back on your life. How does it look? Are you happy with what you see? …….. You reached your potential. You never let anything get in the way of your happiness? Always living each day like it was your last. You were never afraid of anything. Nothing ever stopped you achieving everything you wanted and knew you could achieve? You were never your own roadblock to your success and happiness? And as you now look back, knowing that you are coming to the end of your life you can feel satisfied, happy and safe in knowledge that when you decided to take control of your life, you made a decision that caused great things to happen. You know now as back then that you were one of the lucky ones.

“There is nothing with which everyman is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.”

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Have you ever been in a situation where you think somebody doubts your ability to do a job, and then you start to doubt yourself as well? Or maybe you just doubt your ability without anyone else involved. When somebody says to you ‘You can’t do something’, or ‘You’ll never be able to do that’, then that is just their opinion and nothing else, it is only when you start to believe such statements that it can affect your confidence and your outlook on life.

I know I can’t speak Korean, but knowing this doesn’t affect my life in any negative way. I mean if I want to I could learn to speak it. Just because I can’t do something doesn’t mean I won’t be able to in the future and it certainly doesn’t mean I am an incompetent person who can’t learn things.

As an example; Let’s say you arrive at work and see that you have a load of problems to solve ASAP, do you all of a sudden start to feel slightly apprehensive, maybe even a little skeptical of your ability to solve the problems? Perhaps before you know it you are sitting there feeling very unconfident. People can hear in your voice that you are not confident, you are speaking very slowly so nobody can hear what you are saying, you start to muddle your words and sound incoherent. It’s not a pretty site yet it probably all started with your own self doubt about solving a particular problem which then snowballed into huge self doubt, which then made the rest of your day miserable.

Even if you find yourself in a position where you can’t do something, you can at least state that in a confident way and move on with your life. At least be sure that if you wanted to learn something that you could do and just because you can’t do something at a particular moment in time doesn’t mean you should feel bad about yourself. A lack of self confidence in one area shouldn’t spill over to other areas of your life.

I don’t believe anybody can really affect your lack of self confidence the way you can. For most things that we are now doing in our lives, (that we can do competently) there would have been a time when it was the first time we did them, nobody is born with the ability to be good at everything. When we are young we haven’t learnt to be negative and so we don’t doubt ourselves when we start something new. Doubting ourselves and our abilities are all learned behaviors. We learn to be self conscious and insecure.

Only you can really decide how you feel about anything that happens to you. What will it take to have that inner belief about yourself that whatever you do you will do well and with confidence?

If you are faced with problems at work or in your personal life, I recommend that you break it down into smaller chunks and deal with one chunk at a time rather than see the problem as one big whole that has to be solved. Don’t let one little problem affect your whole self-image in a negative way.

Don’t let others decide how you are going to feel; what other people think is of no consequence compared to what you think of yourself. Speak positively of yourself, don’t put yourself down.

The only person who can affect the way you feel about yourself and your abilities is YOU.

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Do you ever speak negatively to yourself, maybe you put yourself down in front of others, or perhaps you have difficulty accepting praise? (maybe you don’t think you deserve it). These are all related to low self esteem and lack of self confidence. If you do, why? I am working towards eliminating this sort of thing from my life completely and would recommend that you do the same.

It simply does not pay to put yourself down when you are on a path of self development or self improvement. For every little success you have will be negated by the negative self talk or attitudes you have towards yourself. It’s like one step forward, negative self talk, then two steps back.

Wherever you want to get to in life, whatever you want to do, it is imperative that you become your own best friend first. Why bother with self doubt and loathing? Look where they have got you? Put them behind you, they haven’t served any useful purpose up until now and they won’t serve a useful purpose in the future. All they do is keep you stuck, in a self perpetuating loop of negativity and self doubt.

In what situations do you speak negatively towards yourself? Maybe you make a mistake at work and say to yourself ‘I’m an idiot, I always do this’? Or maybe you left the house one day and forgot to bring some important paperwork with you? Do you remind yourself that you are ‘useless person who always forgets things’? Or perhaps you say something even more severe?

What good does it do talking to yourself like this? You are essentially beating yourself up (at least mentally anyway). Do you feel better when you do this? It is like you have this deep belief that you are an idiot, and that this event (whatever it may be) has just proved it correct.

It’s not useful and it gets you nowhere. Instead it just leaves you feeling negative and bad about yourself.

In this day and age, time waits for no one, to be successful you need to be on your own side. You need to continually support yourself, through everything you do, it is important to give yourself praise when you make progress (however small) and not to berate yourself when things go wrong.

Remember this if you are having a bad day, or things aren’t going right for you, don’t beat yourself up, you are on a path, you have a goal, don’t get upset by minor things in life, nothing is really that bad. Don’t let anyone else define your happiness. Only you control if you are happy or not, nobody else.

Life can be hard enough without you being your own worst enemy. Always be your own best friend. Learn to accept yourself for who you are at any moment in time.

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