Create Change in your life

Check out my new ebook, it is called ‘The experience’ and it is about the life you are currently living, this free ebook looks at how we create our very own life situations based on the choices we make, and what we choose to think about. It is written from the perspective that we are more than what we are currently experiencing, and that we will exist beyond our current body. It looks at the non existence of time, how our beliefs dictate our reality, the nature of thought, the illusion of difference, how it is sometimes necessary to make changes in life, and how rising beyond thought can sometimes be a very useful thing to do.

Here are a couple of excerpts:

from the chapter ‘choices’:

The experience is a choice and together with learning about yourself and life, it is important for you to understand here and now that great power lies within you. But perhaps before you can really utilize that potential that underlies your very existence, you must understand that it is you who needs to take full responsibility for your life, and not make excuses for the way it has been, or look to blame people or events that are outside of your control, as this is a losing game to play. The life you live now and in the future will always be down to you and no one else, and this is great to know and be aware of because the power lies within you at all times, and as soon as you start to blame others or external events you can begin to feel very small and powerless to do anything about it. The result of which will be that all of what you will commonly get to experience in life, will be laced with feelings of frustration and anger as you don’t feel you can do anything to change it, however this is false as it will always be you who holds the key to your life. It is you who is in charge at all times, you make the choices and you get to live the experience.

From  the chapter ‘the illusion of being different’:

Life situations and the realities which make up people’s lives are all based on perception and interpretation, and this is always different for everyone. For the most part, people who live in different countries obviously still share similarities (that which make us human for a start), and when we think about the world at large, including the people in it, we can either look for the similarities or we can look for the differences. People living in other countries will always be similar at some level, albeit in slightly different ways, as each person and culture has its own way of doing things that may not be universally shared. People are still people regardless of the geographical location. We are all human, we all live on planet earth, we all have to eat, sleep, make a living, look after ourselves and those around us, yet people, still hold fears about different cultures and populations living in obscure parts of the world. Is it really so hard to learn to get along with each other when we clearly have so much in common, both inside and outside the body.

Feel free to check out my other site, inifinite awareness, a site about waking up and coming to terms with who and what we really are (consciousness experiencing a human reality).

admin Happiness, Inspirational

How much of what you have worried about has ever actually happened to you? Here you are with so much potential worrying about what may or may not happen in the future, is your position such that you really need to be concerning yourself with something which is just a mind made concept in your head? If the life you are creating for yourself happens, and only you can determine whether it does or not, won’t these days where you are worried about whether or not it would happen seem a little pathetic?

You are creating something bigger than you have ever created before, that will allow you to live a life unimaginable just a few years ago. Your goal is achievable and can be done by you; don’t ever lose sight of that.

“If there is a solution to the problem, there is no need to worry. If there is no solution, there is no sense in worrying either.”
Dalai Lama

“Ten years from now the problem you are worrying about will be completely meaningless and totally irrelevant.”

All you have to do is think of the life you will be living and use it as motivation to continue taking action now.

Worrying is a mindless concern for every possible eventuality, it is pointless

Living in the future can be a cause of anxiety because if you were living in the now, what would you have to be nervous about?

A new definition of worry might be something like this:

Worry: A type of thinking that results in new mind made concepts that serve no other purpose then to produce anxiety and stress in a person’s life.

If you are worrying about something are you living in the present moment or are you somewhere else completely? Worrying about the future, what future? It doesn’t exist except in your own head.

• What have you got to worry about in your day to day life?
• What is it about your job that worries you?
• What is it about your relationship that worries you?
• What is it about your financial situation that worries you?

It is all imagined.

There are many bad habits in the world and worrying is one of them, if you are guilty of it then consider it something you have to quit. If you have money worries, I think you will agree that worrying about them will not solve anything, but taking action to come up with a new way to earn more money or brainstorming ways to cut your expenses might.

Worrying is born out of a lack of confidence in yourself; it is a lack of confidence in your ability to handle situations when and indeed if they were to occur. If the problem was large and in your face you wouldn’t have time to worry as you would be too busy taking action to do something about it.

How about using anxiety as a motivational strategy, I mean if you are constantly worrying then why not instead of worrying take action in the present moment to do something about what you are worrying about. If you are unable to do that, then what is the point in worrying? If you jump out of a plane without a parachute what will worrying about it solve? Nothing!

So cut down on this habit that can paralyze you. Rarely do the things that you worry about ever come true. So what’s the point? Worrying is just an ineffective way of thinking about things that may or may not happen in your life. So stop worrying and start living.

admin Happiness change your life, Positive Thinking

What would you like in 3 months that you don’t have now? What about 6 months or a year from now? If you know your life is not taking you where you want to be than that is a sure enough reason to do something about it. If the image you get of yourself in the future doesn’t fill you with excitement or motivation then you need to do something about it. Your life is special and you should not waste it doing something for which you are not suited to or that you don’t enjoy. If you find yourself in the position of not knowing what to do with your life this is OK, understand that at this point in your life there are many opportunities available to you.

Don’t limit what is possible in your life through narrow thinking, you can have what you want, believing anything else is pointless and will lead you into a spiral of despair and negativity.

If you don’t believe you can have the life you want then you will more than likely end up depressed, so the first step to creating the life you want to is to believe it will happen.

You will need to be your own best friend right from the start; you will need to have your mind working for you not against you if you are to get remotely close to having the life you envisage for yourself.

What exactly do you stand to benefit by making changes to your life?

• Increased happiness / well being
• Greater wealth
• Increased self esteem / self confidence
• Improved outlook, more optimistic
• Healthier mind / body
• More friends, wider social circle
• Greater job satisfaction
• More satisfaction to live for now rather than wait for some point in the future to arrive
• Better relationships
• Career success
• More excitement
• Stress free life / More security

Feelings associated with successful change:

• Satisfaction
• Fulfillment
• Determination
• Empowerment
• Positive Attitude
• Self-confidence
• Creativity
• Self esteem
• Invincibility
• Happiness
• Courage
• Contentment
• Achievement
• Triumphant

admin Beliefs, Changing direction, Happiness, New Ideas (creative thinking) change your life, Changing direction

If you continually run through again and again all the things that are missing in your life and how bad it is, you will be miserable no question about it. You will become annoyed and impatient with yourself including everybody around you. Constantly reliving or inventing new bad experiences will eventually cause you to stop taking action altogether towards making anything happen in your life. Any goals you once had set for yourself become utterly pointless, they are ignored replaced instead by indolence, it becomes preferable to do less and less, you begin to watch countless hours of television anything to distract you. The time you used to spend on constructive activities becomes too much like hard work and so the activities are forgotten altogether, along with all the other plans you may have made for yourself, eventually depression sets in.

You create a system for your brain to follow, every day the program runs itself, just like getting dressed in the morning and having breakfast, you also manage to forget all the things you should be doing and focus your attention on feeling miserable instead. It then starts to become regular behavior, which you start to accept as normal. It becomes easier to ignore the ‘goals’ and the ‘plans’. All of a sudden life becomes hard, a drag and to make matters worse you also beat yourself up for feeling lousy.

When you are in this cycle of doom nothing much ever gets accomplished. If it continues one day you will wake up and realize your life has passed you by and you have not moved forward one little bit.

Are we to blame?

Is it all our own doing?

Well in a word ‘yes’

Occasionally people feel down because of problems outside of their control, but a lot of the time people are the architect of their own blues. Life is ultimately a series of choices and we shouldn’t actively choose to feel bad by creating unhappy internal thoughts. It is always easier to cast the blame onto somebody or something else outside of our control, the reality is we are choosing to feel low and this is something we can choose not to do anytime we feel like it. We are all responsible for how we feel. If we feel depressed it will always be up to us to do something about it not anybody else.

The first step out of depression or any low miserable state of mind is to fully accept that it is your responsibility to get out of it and change how you feel, whatever that may involve. It could be eating an ice-cream, a big bag of sweets, feeding the ducks, cooking your favorite meal, or something else, but it is important to remember that it will always be down to you to break out of it. You can’t expect anyone else to come along and say ‘there, there, everything will be ok’, because it won’t unless you do something about it.

Once of the best things you can do to break out of a bad mood or depressive state is to take action, do something, a brisk walk, watch birds in the sky, you could even put your feelings down on paper so you can read them at a later date, some dark poetry perhaps?

A lot of the time depressive states pass within a few days, and are only temporary, however sometimes people can be their own worst enemies by feeding their low moods with more negative based thinking, and somber thoughts, this is the time when action is needed.

Exercise is always good, something that gets you out of breath and changes your state.

Just do something, don’t just sit there and ponder the injustices of life.

Become active and force a smile on your face.

admin Happiness change your life, Happiness, Positive Thinking

Everybody is prone to feeling down and low at times, but what actually causes us to feel unhappy? Is it external events which we are unable to control, is it events that haven’t happened but we imagine they’ve happened anyway or do we make ourselves feel bad regardless of external events.

Now there are external events such as accidents, disease, injury, loss of a loved one that we really do have no control over. If any such events happen then you just have to deal with them in your own personal way. But those specific circumstances aside, there are other such events that you can control, or more to the point you can control how you react or decide to feel about them.

• Lose your job? Perhaps you were destined for greater things.

• Failed to get the part in the movie? No problem it was a small role anyway.

When we feel low, how much of it is because of what we are saying to ourselves as opposed to circumstances which have befallen us? When we feel down, a lot of the time we are doing so in response to something occurring in our minds. We are saying to ourselves that our lives our bad, that we will never taste the sweet smell of success, that we will never ever be rich or that we will never ever come up with an idea for a business. All of a sudden we look all around and see nothing but negativity, the beggar in street seems to be everywhere, the person at the supermarket is surly and unfriendly, the house you live in isn’t big enough, your boss at work is always giving you a hard time.

We create an awful lot in our own heads that cause a great deal of our unhappiness. We are prone to continually run through again and again all the things that are missing in our lives, we become impatient with everybody around us, including ourselves. We call ourselves stupid, lazy and unmotivated. We have decided that changes will not happen and so there is very little point attempting to make anything happen.

Goals become utterly pointless, and are ignored, replaced instead by indolence. It is preferable to do less and less, You start to watch countless hours of TV, or watch movies, anything to distract you. The time spent on constructive activities that previously you would have found fulfilling becomes too much like hard work and so the activities are forgotten altogether, along with all the other plans that 2 or 3 months previous would have been adhered to and followed. And it’s a system, it becomes regular, like getting dressed in the morning or having breakfast and ‘oh yes’ remembering to forget all the things I should to today and to feel miserable instead.

It becomes normal behavior, it becomes easier to ignore the ‘goals’, the ‘to do lists’, life is easier this way. On top of all this you beat yourself up for feeling like you do, not only are you the reason for your mood you are also angry with yourself for feeling this way. Nice!

But is this all our own doing, isn’t someone else to blame or some recent event? Occasionally yes people feel down because of outside problems but a lot of the time people are the architect of their own blues. Life is ultimately a series of choices, I think most people are aware of this. But when people actually choose to feel lousy. What is going on there?

When you are in this cycle of doom, nothing ever seems to get done. One day you will wake up and realize months have passed you by and you have not moved forward one little bit.

So what is the solution to this? Well what works for one person may not work for another. Only you know how you make yourself feel the way you do. But if things are not right in your life, what is it that you want or need? At least get clear about what is required to make you feel good again and motivated. Take a look around, you are the reason you are where you are right now, and YOU will be the reason in 6 months time.

Don’t blame other people and especially don’t blame yourself. You have the power to change any aspect of your life, and it doesn’t have to take years. Understand this, if you don’t like your life right now, it doesn’t mean you won’t like your life in 6 or 12 months time, in fact when you are feeling down is it about you or is it about your life at that particular moment in time? You may dislike what you see around you today, but there is a different ‘You’, a different set of circumstances that you will like just waiting around the corner.

Nothing is ever set in stone, if you are not where you want to be it is not a permanent thing , it is just a blip on your journey to greater and better things. It is only ever temporary, life is only ever temporary. Because however bad you make yourself feel it doesn’t have to be forever, and it certainly doesn’t mean that it has to be like that in the future.

Believing this alone may help clear the fog that sets in front of your eyes from time to time.

admin Happiness Happiness

Do you or have you ever set goals either monthly or weekly and then not completed them or even made them a priority? Have you perhaps conveniently forgotten about them, or maybe even deliberately ignored them. Or was the practice of actually writing down the goal in the first place success enough for you? Your goals exist because they take you closer to where you want to be in life, and there are daily or weekly tasks you need to do in order to achieve your goal.

While an objective of losing weight may be a long term goal it will be made up of a many smaller tasks that will need to be completed daily or weekly.

If you have already written your goal down then you must already consider important enough for something to be done about it.

Why then is it that sometimes it does not get completed?

Does life get in the way?
Do you have too many other things to worry about?
Are you just lazy?
Do you come up with excuses such as ‘I’ll do it later’ or ‘It will get done, just not today’.

If you are serious about changing your life, you are going to have to get serious about completing the daily tasks that your goal requires.

Excuses and laziness will not work and you will find yourself no nearer to your goal, the process of you writing down your goal will become meaningless.

You will be static, while you may not be getting any closer somebody somewhere with the same goal probably is. While you are sat there doing nothing, making excuses there are people who are completing their goals and who are making something happen, don’t you want to be one of them?

Some tips for making sure daily tasks get done;

Every Sunday make a weekly checklist of all the things you want to do for the week ahead. Include all days from Monday to Sunday. Write down everything that you want to do for that day and what you want to complete. See yourself having completed the task.

Assign a time to do it, for example between 7-8. (if it means not watching TV, so be it) Congratulate yourself when you complete the task.

Know what you have to do before the day arrives, it can be very easy sometimes to just wake up and suddenly decide something else needs to be done that day. Don’t get sidetracked like this unless you have already completed the task you set yourself on Sunday. Stay focused on what you need to do. The time you allocate for your task should be used for that task only and not other work.

Don’t try and plan too much, it is easy to get carried away when writing down what you need to do and give yourself too much, this can make you feel overwhelmed and is one way that you can start making excuses to not finish or even start some tasks.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation, Happiness Goal Setting / Motivation

Are you enjoying your life? I mean really enjoying it? Are you living with passion? Is enjoying your life simply just a choice? Are people happy because they choose to be happy or are people happy because of something that has happened to them, circumstances or perhaps something else? Should we all just be happy no matter what we do, where we live, how much money we make, single or married?

Is happiness just a decision or are external factors involved?

Do you spend time thinking about all the things that aren’t right in your life, all the bad things, all the things you haven’t got? I do sometimes and it certainly doesn’t make me happy.

If you do think about things that aren’t right in your life it should at least provide motivation to do something about it.

I want to change careers because I am not happy with what I am doing, in fact a want to go on a search for happiness. I haven’t been really happy in a while, when this happens, real changes can happen. But wait! Maybe I should just learn to be happy no matter what I do?

What makes people happy?

Life is short, none of us are getting any younger, life is no fun if you are not happy. I want to smile more. It is the main reason why I am going on a journey of creating change in my life.

Everybody needs to find out what it is that will bring them happiness. I am not sure I can subscribe to the philosophy of being happy no matter happens in our life. If you are not happy, isn’t it a sign that something needs to change? Surely just smiling when your life is not taking you where you want to go is merely papering over the cracks of something deeper that needs to be resolved?

There is a new branch of Psychology out there called ‘Positive Psychology’ designed to find out what it takes to lead happy lives. I don’t know much about it but it could be worthwhile finding out more about it.

If you are not having fun, then I recommend that you do whatever it takes to start having fun. Plenty of people are why aren’t you one of them?

Why sit there and let life get you down? You have to be the one who initiates your own happiness nobody else will do it for you.

Do you know how long you have to live? No you don’t nobody does, yet some people act like they have all the time in the world and that one day in the future everything will work out and fall into place.

Let me tell you, that is not how it works. Did you think 5 years ago that your life would be different to what it is now, have you just stumbled your way to where you are now?

You need to stand up today and take action to move your life in the direction you want it to go. YOU YOU YOU, nobody else, you have to do something about it! Not someday in the future, you have to do it right now!

admin Happiness fun, Happiness