Create Change in your life

Everybody is prone to feeling down and low at times, but what actually causes us to feel unhappy? Is it external events which we are unable to control, is it events that haven’t happened but we imagine they’ve happened anyway or do we make ourselves feel bad regardless of external events.

Now there are external events such as accidents, disease, injury, loss of a loved one that we really do have no control over. If any such events happen then you just have to deal with them in your own personal way. But those specific circumstances aside, there are other such events that you can control, or more to the point you can control how you react or decide to feel about them.

• Lose your job? Perhaps you were destined for greater things.

• Failed to get the part in the movie? No problem it was a small role anyway.

When we feel low, how much of it is because of what we are saying to ourselves as opposed to circumstances which have befallen us? When we feel down, a lot of the time we are doing so in response to something occurring in our minds. We are saying to ourselves that our lives our bad, that we will never taste the sweet smell of success, that we will never ever be rich or that we will never ever come up with an idea for a business. All of a sudden we look all around and see nothing but negativity, the beggar in street seems to be everywhere, the person at the supermarket is surly and unfriendly, the house you live in isn’t big enough, your boss at work is always giving you a hard time.

We create an awful lot in our own heads that cause a great deal of our unhappiness. We are prone to continually run through again and again all the things that are missing in our lives, we become impatient with everybody around us, including ourselves. We call ourselves stupid, lazy and unmotivated. We have decided that changes will not happen and so there is very little point attempting to make anything happen.

Goals become utterly pointless, and are ignored, replaced instead by indolence. It is preferable to do less and less, You start to watch countless hours of TV, or watch movies, anything to distract you. The time spent on constructive activities that previously you would have found fulfilling becomes too much like hard work and so the activities are forgotten altogether, along with all the other plans that 2 or 3 months previous would have been adhered to and followed. And it’s a system, it becomes regular, like getting dressed in the morning or having breakfast and ‘oh yes’ remembering to forget all the things I should to today and to feel miserable instead.

It becomes normal behavior, it becomes easier to ignore the ‘goals’, the ‘to do lists’, life is easier this way. On top of all this you beat yourself up for feeling like you do, not only are you the reason for your mood you are also angry with yourself for feeling this way. Nice!

But is this all our own doing, isn’t someone else to blame or some recent event? Occasionally yes people feel down because of outside problems but a lot of the time people are the architect of their own blues. Life is ultimately a series of choices, I think most people are aware of this. But when people actually choose to feel lousy. What is going on there?

When you are in this cycle of doom, nothing ever seems to get done. One day you will wake up and realize months have passed you by and you have not moved forward one little bit.

So what is the solution to this? Well what works for one person may not work for another. Only you know how you make yourself feel the way you do. But if things are not right in your life, what is it that you want or need? At least get clear about what is required to make you feel good again and motivated. Take a look around, you are the reason you are where you are right now, and YOU will be the reason in 6 months time.

Don’t blame other people and especially don’t blame yourself. You have the power to change any aspect of your life, and it doesn’t have to take years. Understand this, if you don’t like your life right now, it doesn’t mean you won’t like your life in 6 or 12 months time, in fact when you are feeling down is it about you or is it about your life at that particular moment in time? You may dislike what you see around you today, but there is a different ‘You’, a different set of circumstances that you will like just waiting around the corner.

Nothing is ever set in stone, if you are not where you want to be it is not a permanent thing , it is just a blip on your journey to greater and better things. It is only ever temporary, life is only ever temporary. Because however bad you make yourself feel it doesn’t have to be forever, and it certainly doesn’t mean that it has to be like that in the future.

Believing this alone may help clear the fog that sets in front of your eyes from time to time.

admin Happiness Happiness