Create Change in your life

What is clutter I hear you ask? Well it can be both physical (untidy house) and mental (negative beliefs). Do you have clutter; well you might if you are prone to any of the following behaviors:

• Attached to old things out of fear of want, or reluctance to let go of the past

• Distracted from concentrating on the important work of your true desire

• Paying too much attention to unimportant things in your life

• Rushing so fast you rarely get a moment to catch your breath

• Are you self-indulgent and undisciplined?

Do any of the following drain your energy? If they do you might want to find a way to eliminate some of them from your life.

• Daily doses of doubt (self talk about being useless, worthless or how unlikely your chances of happiness and fulfillment are)

• Complaining as a sport

• Not saying ‘no’ when you need to.

• Not being self-reliant

• Over committing to others

• Under-committing to yourself

• Feeling sorry for yourself

• Tolerating people who work against you

• Messy house

admin Random change your life, motivate

Do you or have you ever set goals either monthly or weekly and then not completed them or even made them a priority? Have you perhaps conveniently forgotten about them, or maybe even deliberately ignored them. Or was the practice of actually writing down the goal in the first place success enough for you? Your goals exist because they take you closer to where you want to be in life, and there are daily or weekly tasks you need to do in order to achieve your goal.

While an objective of losing weight may be a long term goal it will be made up of a many smaller tasks that will need to be completed daily or weekly.

If you have already written your goal down then you must already consider important enough for something to be done about it.

Why then is it that sometimes it does not get completed?

Does life get in the way?
Do you have too many other things to worry about?
Are you just lazy?
Do you come up with excuses such as ‘I’ll do it later’ or ‘It will get done, just not today’.

If you are serious about changing your life, you are going to have to get serious about completing the daily tasks that your goal requires.

Excuses and laziness will not work and you will find yourself no nearer to your goal, the process of you writing down your goal will become meaningless.

You will be static, while you may not be getting any closer somebody somewhere with the same goal probably is. While you are sat there doing nothing, making excuses there are people who are completing their goals and who are making something happen, don’t you want to be one of them?

Some tips for making sure daily tasks get done;

Every Sunday make a weekly checklist of all the things you want to do for the week ahead. Include all days from Monday to Sunday. Write down everything that you want to do for that day and what you want to complete. See yourself having completed the task.

Assign a time to do it, for example between 7-8. (if it means not watching TV, so be it) Congratulate yourself when you complete the task.

Know what you have to do before the day arrives, it can be very easy sometimes to just wake up and suddenly decide something else needs to be done that day. Don’t get sidetracked like this unless you have already completed the task you set yourself on Sunday. Stay focused on what you need to do. The time you allocate for your task should be used for that task only and not other work.

Don’t try and plan too much, it is easy to get carried away when writing down what you need to do and give yourself too much, this can make you feel overwhelmed and is one way that you can start making excuses to not finish or even start some tasks.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation, Happiness Goal Setting / Motivation

When making changes in your life, a technique that you can use that can help focus your mind, as well as provide you with motivation is writing a letter to yourself. The letter is addressed to you at some point in the future, either 6 months or 1 or 2 years time. In the letter you write as if you are living your ideal life with all the changes you wish to make having been made.

Describe your ideal life in detail, where you live, your relationships, your work and the way you feel. Create a visual image using sensory rich detail and emotions. Write as if you are living the life right now in the present tense.

Write it back to yourself, don’t hold back or be reserved about what you have achieved, really let your imagination run wild, have fun with it, don’t sensor it because you think it is too unrealistic.

Write the letter as if it is from a happier more fulfilled you at some point in the future.

Some examples of things you might want to include are;

Dear Yourself,

• I am currently living in …
• It’s nice to have …
• I am …
• I never thought it would be like this …
• It just goes to show …
• Right now my life is amazing …
• I have managed to …
• I have many …
• Next week I will be …
• Just last week …
• I never thought life could be …
• My ‘####’ is really going really well …

When completed read it back to yourself and pick out a few things that you can start working on straight away. Have fun!

admin Goal Setting / Motivation Goal Setting / Motivation, inspire, motivate, motivational

Poverty consciousness is related to motivation, we are either moving away from something, moving towards something or sometimes both. When people are motivated by moving away from things, (things they don’t want, distress, discomfort or pain) they don’t always pay too much attention to where they are going to end up. When people pay too much attention on their problems and not on solutions it can be a bit like ‘out of the frying pan and into the fire’, their attention is on what they don’t want, and not on what they do want. To put it another way, they won’t see where they are going, because they keep looking at where they’ve been, this is what is known as ‘poverty consciousness’.

Successful achievers generally don’t wait until something gets bad before they do something about it, they take action before pain or discomfort forces them to.

Are you a worrier, do you get anxious a lot? You are probably somebody who is motivated by moving away from things as opposed to moving towards things. Once you move away from something and the problem gets further away, you may well start to lose your motivation, as the problem no longer exists. When motivating yourself it is important to understand if you are moving towards something or away.

The boss that drives you crazy, the work colleagues that annoy you can provide you with plenty of reasons to find another job, the ‘move away’ from motivational strategies can be a very powerful force. However if you predominately keep moving away from things where will this take you?

A low salary can spur you onto learn new skills so your earning potential increases. A car that keeps breaking down can motivate you to save money to buy a new one. A cold wet winter can motivate you to book a holiday.

But when you are constantly moving away from things the question surely becomes what are you heading for exactly, where is all this taking you? It is good to be motivated, either towards something or away from something, but if you find yourself always moving away from something and not actually towards anything then maybe a balance needs to be found.

It is when too much attention is put on what you don’t want at the expense of looking towards and making plans for what you do want in the future.

I am guilty of this, I know what I don’t want but this just means I know what I want to avoid, however it doesn’t help me focus on what I do want.

The way your mind operates is such that when you say you don’t want something, it still has to focus on what you don’t want, your mind doesn’t understand negation.

I don’t want to lose money (last thing you mind thinks is ‘LOSE MONEY’)
I don’t want to work in an office (mind thinks about working in an office)
I don’t want to etc……

It can be hard to create a compelling future for yourself if all you are doing is imaging all the things you don’t want. Always looking at how bad it has been, how bad it is, all the things you have never had, all the places you have never been, all the unhappy times you have had, all the miserable jobs you have had. This is ‘poverty consciousness’ in action.

‘That job didn’t work out because ….’
‘I remember working there it was so ….’
‘I’ve never had any real money, life has always been ….’

What are you moving towards right now? Take a list of all the things you don’t want and change it into a list of things you do want.

Avoid ‘poverty consciousness’ and start looking at where you are headed and what you are going to have in the future.

If you have a lot of ‘move away’ from strategies then change them into ‘move towards’ instead to get a more balanced motivation strategy. For example change ‘I don’t want to work for my boss’ into ‘I want to work for myself’.

Don’t fall into the trap of always being motivated to move away from something and towards nothing.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation motivational, The mind

If you are creating any change in your life, it is important to understand that your changes will not suddenly appear overnight. It is also vitally important to not get discouraged when this doesn’t happen. And while it may be obvious to some the changes you want to happen will certainly not occur if you don’t put in any effort. It is easy sometimes to dismiss something as a non-starter in your own mind before any real concrete action has taken place, all too easy unfortunately.

Let’s assume you know what you want, you have written down your goals, and you know the changes would have a dramatic affect on your life for the better. It’s a great start but that is all it is. I have spoken about action before. But taking action doesn’t always guarantee results, you need constant, daily, never ending action.

Even by taking action you are still at the mercy of your thoughts, and any negative thoughts that you may have, can and will have a direct impact on your productivity. Everything from what you say to yourself, your behavior, and what you believe can potentially be a road block to your progress.

If you find yourself in a position where you have stopped working towards your goal (for whatever reason), then start again by making a daily plan of things that you need to do to get back on track.

For example, today I will do this ………….

It can be easy to live inside your head and know what you have to do, but not actually do anything about it in the real world. I find that I sometimes live in my head far too often, which ultimately results in not achieving very much.

Thinking too much can be a cause of great unhappiness, especially if it is negative. It can also prevent you from making inroads into what it is you are hoping to achieve.

Make a plan of what you need to do and stick to it. Don’t let interfering thoughts and negative feelings get in the way. Instead have faith in yourself, and believe that one day you will have what it is you are working towards.

Your ideal life won’t fall into your lap, you are going to have to work for it. Don’t expect it to just happen. If something is worth having, it is going to be worth the time and the effort it will take to get there.

Just remember that the constant and determined effort you put in each day will always bring you closer to where you want to be. By all means stop, reflect and congratulate yourself on the progress you have made but don’t stop and think negative thoughts that will stop you dead in your tracks, all this does is dismiss and negate all the work that you have already put in.

admin Inspirational Inspirational

Do you know what happens when you think about bad negative things? It leads to an unhappy life. If you find yourself doing this, ask yourself just how bad is your life right now? For a lot of people (me included), even when their life isn’t that bad, they still chose to think that it is. Why do you think bad thoughts if there is nothing really bad about your life? Do you realize that you will get what you think about most.

Generating bad depressing thoughts will not get you where you want to be. They will make yourself and your life miserable. What exactly is so bad about having a good time that you chose instead to fill your mind with lots of depressing thoughts?

If the future you are thinking about does not inspire you, motivate you or fill you with excitement, you are thinking the wrong thoughts. Stop this, right now!

If what you are doing isn’t working, stop and do something else.

Why do people waste what could be an amazing life for something that is far far less?

Everything in your life comes from what you think about it. So if you are thinking about things that make you feel unhappy you will lead an unhappy life.

Take a look at your life right now, what have you got to be thankful for? List 5 things that are personal to you that you can be grateful for.

Now how does that list make you feel?

Slightly happier perhaps
A little less grumpy or miserable
Has it put a smile on your face

When you do start feeling low, stop and look around for all the things you can be thankful for.

Don’t dwell on the things that make you unhappy, get up, take a walk. Focus on what you have got and the ways you are going to manifest what is currently missing in your life, if indeed anything is.

admin Positive Thinking Beliefs, change your life, Positive Thinking

If I said to you in 3 months time you would have the change you wanted in your life and your life would be exactly like you want it, what would your immediate reaction or thought be?

• It’s OK I already know I will have the change I want in 3 months time.
• Great! What do I have to do?
• No it won’t, it is just not possible.
• It will not happen at all, don’t joke about things like that.
• It would be nice but I doubt very much whether it will happen in 3 months.
• Yeah whatever, I wish.
• Are you serious? I don’t think so.

If your initial answer to the question is a positive one (1-2), then that would suggest that you already have the self-belief needed to make it happen. This is good, if you do then I would recommend you write it down on a piece of paper and stick it somewhere prominent so you can be reminded of it every day.

For example.

• 3 months from now I will have lost 14 pounds.
• 3 months from now I will be speaking good basic conversational Spanish.
• 3 months from now I will have completed 100 pages of my new book.
• 3 months from now I will be selling my handicrafts online.
• 3 months from now I will have found a new job with better prospects.

If you believe it will happen but are not sure how it will happen, as an exercise try this; Go into the future to when you will have what you want, and look back to right now. As you look back on yourself at this present moment, what are the steps you would have taken now to make your goal come true? What actions did you take? What was your day to day behavior? See each step you would have taken in your mind’s eye.

What were you doing each day to work towards your goal? Be vivid and detailed in your descriptions of the activities you did? This way you will know exactly what you have to do right now, to make where you want to be in 3 months from now a reality.

Remember to write down the goal, a few times if need be and put it somewhere where you will see it each day. Don’t be afraid to even send yourself a text message or an email reminding you about what you need to do each day to get where you want to be.

If your reaction to the question was negative, such as, ‘it won’t happen’ or, ‘I don’t think so’, can you guess what will happen in 3 months time? It is not rocket science to understand that if you say something will not happen, then the chances of it happening are slim.

If your immediate reaction is negative then you either;

1. Don’t believe you can accomplish the task.
2. Don’t really want to complete the task.
3. Don’t want to be disappointed when you fail.
4. Don’t believe the task is achievable.

If it is number 1, then you should ask yourself why exactly it is that you don’t believe you can accomplish the task and how you know this with such certainty. I would also recommend you start imagining that it were possible and use the technique outlined above to find out how you go about achieving it.

If it is number 2, you need to ask yourself why it is that perhaps you don’t want to achieve the task, is it fear of failure or even success, if you are not motivated enough, change the goal so you are?

If it is number 3, take the approach of ‘there is no failure only feedback’ and take action towards your goal. Look upon everything you do as feedback, if you are taking action towards your goal you simply cannot fail, therefore any action you take is positive.

If it is number 4, then ask yourself; is the outcome I want in 3 months to large, is it realistic? (A million in 3 months, a new business generating massive profits.) If it is then change the goal to something which you know is achievable in 3 months, I don’t mean to cut back on your expectation of what you want for yourself, but only you know what you can realistically achieve in 3 months.

If you don’t right now believe the task is achievable then it is highly unlikely you will achieve it, simple as that. How much time can you spend on the goal, can you afford to give up your job? 1 and 4 are similar, but if you are working 12 hour days, then how much daily time will you have for the task you want to achieve?

For example the difference between 1 and 4 is this,

Goal 1. In 3 months time I will have lost 14lbs.

This is an achievable goal, people have done it in the past and people will do it in the future. But not everybody will believe THEY can achieve it.

Goal 2. In 3 months time I want to be able to write a book, as-well as working 12 hours a day.

While writing a book is achievable in 3 months, however not many people would have done it working 12 hours a day in another job. In this example If you know you are going to be working 12 hours day for the next 3 months, either change your goal, or cut back on the hours you are working so the goal does become attainable.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation Goal Setting / Motivation

When you are going through or attempting to go through change in your life, there are different levels (logical levels) from which your brain operates. It is useful to understand what these levels are when initiating any kind of change because whatever you want to manifest will be affected at each layer at some point. There are 5 main levels

1. Identity
2. Beliefs
3. Capabilities
4. Behavior
5. Environment

To understand these levels a little better let’s take as an example somebody who wants to become a singer.

Identity

Your identity would be to say something like ‘I am a singer’, here you are identifying yourself as being a singer. Now if you have just started out on your path to become a singer you may not say this yet. To some people they wouldn’t class themselves as a singer until they were doing it professionally or had an album out, others may consider themselves a singer because they sing in the shower.

This is the top level. Once you are here at this point when you can say ‘I am a …’ your identity has changed and it is now a part of you, ‘you are this person’. What you consider your identity will affect all the other levels below, your beliefs, behavior etc.

Beliefs

Now you may believe you can sing, but not believe you are a singer, there is a difference. Likewise you may call yourself a singer but still have doubts about your abilities (negative beliefs). In this example a belief may be ‘I know I can sing’ or ‘I have a good voice’ or ‘I know people will like the sound of my voice’.

Capability

At this level you are looking at your skills, for example, can you actually sing? Do you have a good voice? Can you write music? There are many people who call themselves singers (Identity) but don’t actually possess this skills (Capabilities) required to sing, and vice versa there are people who are very competent singers who don’t and would never call themselves a singer (identity).

If you couldn’t sing then it would be at this level you would seek out help either via courses or personal instruction by way of singing lessons etc.

Questions to ask yourself at this level include ‘What skills do you put into practice?’ and ‘What capabilities do you tap into in this area of your life?’

Behavior

At this level we are focused on the ‘doing’ part. What would somebody see if they looked at this area of your life? If somebody was watching a video of you what would they see you do? What would they hear you say? In the case of our singer, perhaps they would sing regularly, be sending demo tapes to music companies. This level is basically your day to day activities. What do you do exactly? If you had the identity of being a singer, then you would probably be singing regularly in a band or something similar.

If you are seeking change in certain areas of your life and your behavior indicates that you were not taking the necessary action, then you would need to look at other levels to see if there was any in-congruency with your goals. For example, beliefs can be a real block for a lot of people.

Environment

The bottom level is your environment. ‘Where are you when you engage in this area of your life?’ Who else is there with you? This level involves any external constraints.

Is your environment conducive to who you think you are? (Identity) or who you would like to become? If you are a singer, where are you when you sing?

This is your immediate surroundings. Is your immediate environment conducive for creating the life you want for yourself?

I think these are very important levels to be aware of, when inciting change into your life. You can have all the capabilities, right behaviors and be in the perfect environment, but if you don’t believe (beliefs) you can become who you want to become then the actions you take at the lower levels will reflect this.

It would also be true to say that you can have all the self belief in the world (beliefs) but if you are not carrying out the actions (behaviors) you need to, then your self-belief will not take you very far.

Where are you at with your 5 levels at this moment in time? And more importantly if you are experiencing any difficulties take a look at each level and work out what is not happening for you. Is it because of your environment? Is it because you haven’t found the appropriate strategy to generate the right behaviors you are after? Is it your capabilities? Do you have conflicting beliefs or are there some issues at the level of your identity?

admin Mind change your life, The mind

“Life is no straight and easy corridor along, which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again, checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us.” - A. J. Cronin

admin Changing direction Inspirational, inspire