Beliefs about your identity
We all have an identity, like a persona when we are out and about that defines who we are and how we act. In everyday situations, when we are out and about, or at work, who we believe we are or what we are capable of serves us well most of the time. We normally don’t change our identity, sure we change physical things or what we wear, new hairstyle, new clothes etc, but there are times when we sometimes need to change things on the inside as-well.
Identity only happens in the mind, it is why when you see a person for the first time, you can form an opinion of them or who they are, and this belief can be completely different to how the other person sees themselves. You may think somebody looks confident and self-assured and that they have they life together, but that same person may see themselves as a complete failure, and is quite negative about life.
We define ourselves whether we are consciously aware of it or not by the language we use. We all have beliefs about ourselves, I am a ….He is … They are … This is the way it is for most of us.
Many people don’t believe they can change who they are (at least on the inside). What we believe about ourselves doesn’t have to remain a belief forever. But it frequently does for many people, they are who they are and that is that. If everything is fine in your world and you are happy with your life, great, but if you are not then things need to change.
We live in a world where nothing remains the same, buildings crumble, cliffs erode into the sea, species die out etc. Look at the world we live in today, everything is changing, and at a fast pace, the atmosphere, the weather, society, nothing lasts forever and nothing will and this can include what you believe about yourself. You can change your identity, and it is done simply by the words you use.
Why is it that some people have no problem at all believing all the negative things about themselves but struggle to believe anything positive? Beliefs only exist in your head they are not real and you can change them to serve you better.
For example, most people are aware of the quote “if you think you can, or if you think you can’t you’re right”,
When we form an identity about ourselves, this becomes a frame which will govern all our thoughts, emotions and actions. If the identity does not serve you well then you might want to consider changing it so you can have a more positive identity to work from wherever you may be.
For example when you form beliefs about yourself and you capabilities you might want to consider asking yourself a few of the following questions:
What have you identified with here?
How have you identified with this?
Why have you identified with this?
Does it serve you well?
Does it empower you as a person?
Check out the following beliefs;
‘I am not clever enough to become an accountant.’
‘I am never going to become a public speaker; I am just not that type of person.’
‘I feel that because of who I am this won’t work.’
‘I am fat and destined to remain single forever.’
‘I’ve never done this before and so it is twice as hard for me.’
‘I cannot act; I’ve never done it before.’
How are these people seeing themselves, are they making it easier for themselves or harder? Some of these beliefs will have a real detrimental effect on the person’s life. The words you use are incredibly powerful, however for most people they are just words, but they have such a powerful effect on your mind and therefore your reality that you might want to start choosing them a little more carefully.
‘I am clever enough to become an accountant.’
‘I will become a public speaker, I am determined to do this’
‘I can make a go of this, there is no reason why this will not work.’
‘I may be overweight but I have many other qualities that I can offer someone.’
‘Although I have never done this, I enjoy challenges and I’m confident I’ll find a way’
‘Everybody can act including me, even though this is my first time.’
It is important to dis-associate from any negative self definitions you have about yourself. In life you will be faced with situations where based on the perception you have of yourself, you will either succeed or fail. Make sure you set it up (in your mind at least) that you win each and every time.
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