Create Change in your life

How much time are you spending on creating change in your life? Are you spending time constructively or are you actually wasting time? And if you are, do you realize how this will affect your chances of success? When you know what you want to do, the next step is to start working towards making it happen. But how much time do you allocate to your chosen goal(s)?

Of course for a lot of people it depends on how much time they have. But do you actually need a lot of time? What about if you don’t have a lot of time, perhaps you have work commitments and a family to consider? Maybe you work 10 hours a day then have to come home and feed the children. Or are you one of the lucky ones who has many hours in the day to spend on your chosen goal.

But just how important is having a lot of time exactly?

I am not sure it is how much time you have but rather how you spend it that counts.

I think what is important is not how much time you spend on your goal each day, (although the more time you spend the quicker you will get to where you want to be) but rather how you spend the time that counts.

Just how constructive are you with the time you have?

Are you making monthly goals, weekly goals, daily goals or none at all and just doing stuff as and when you feel like it?
How much time do you want to spend on your goals?
Are you making enough time for yourself?
Are your goals really a priority for you?
Are your monthly goals being achieved? If not, why not?

Time becomes a precious commodity when you realize you aren’t getting any of it back.

This is important because it isn’t just about the time it takes to complete something, it is more than that. It is about showing yourself how committed you are to your chosen goal, it is about being more than just the words you speak, it is about understanding the long term gains to your short term movements / actions.

10 minutes a day spent actually doing something towards your goal is better than 1 hour thinking about it.

If you know something has to be done, why don’t you go and do it the moment the thought enters your head, rather than making a mental note to do it later, (unless you are driving or some other similar activity) because more often than not in the time that follows you will think of more things that need to be done, which will then relegate the initial thought further
down the list of priorities.

Become good at getting things done. Need ideas for a business? Spend time 10 minutes a day brainstorming ideas. Need to lose weight? Spend 15 minutes a day walking to the shops, or wherever. Need to learn Spanish? Spend 20 minutes a day with an audio CD, learning new words.

Learn to be more constructive with the time you have got, you may be surprised by just how much you accomplish.

If need be write down a list of 5 things that you must complete each day and make sure they get completed no matter what, doing this will ensure you are constantly moving in the right direction.

admin Random living in the now, motivate, This moment

What do you want to change in your life, what is most important to you?

Look at the list below, how important are each of these to you?

Try numbering the following from 1-12. 1 being very important to you and 12 being the least important.

• Health and body
• Finance
• Relationships
• Work
• Hobbies
• Spirituality
• Creative Expression
• Travel
• Adventure
• Security
• Home / Family
• Possessions

What do you desire the most from this list, which if these do you really value in your life. It is important to know if you are currently heading in the right direction or if what you are doing at the moment is not in line with what you really want from life.

admin Changing direction change your life, Changing direction

If you are on a path to create change in your life, then one of the things you are going to come face to face with is your negative or limiting beliefs. Of course it you don’t have any, then great, but if you do there are many ways to overcome them. A useful technique you might want to employ is called reframing (a NLP term). With reframing rather than ignore the belief altogether (a tough thing to do), you simply look at it from a different perspective. You can either break it down into smaller chunks, look at the strategy and sequence of the belief (explained below), reframe the context, reframe the content or look at the different outcomes that the belief will bring you, there are many ways.

In this article I will look at how you can alter your thinking about the belief by looking at how you represent the belief internally (the strategy and sequence of the belief).

I think the best way to describe this is with a couple of examples.

Take the negative belief ‘I’m too fat’, now this is a very general belief, it doesn’t say much. For instance ‘too fat’ for what exactly, but let’s get to work on it anyway:

Questions you could ask yourself and anyone else who has this belief include; How do you know you are too fat and not slightly overweight? How do you know you are too fat and not just fat? What is the real difference between the two? How will you know when it does not hold true? What will you see, hear and feel? How do you represent ‘too fat’ in your mind? Do you see a picture of someone who is large or a picture of yourself? And what exactly does it mean to be too fat? What are the consequences of being ‘too fat’? What can you not do, how does it restrict your life? Are all fat people ‘too fat’, or just yourself? Is there any example of when someone is fat but not too fat?

What lets you know that it is fat and not large or big? When does ‘big’ become ‘fat’? What is that trigger? What was it that happened that suddenly made you become ‘too fat’? What does this mean for your life? Are there lots of things you can’t do now because you are ‘too fat’, are you now unhappy with yourself because you are ‘too fat’?

Now what exactly is happening here? Well we a not trying to remove the belief, instead provide a different way of looking at it. By asking yourself questions like these you are essentially playing around with reality as you see it, you are able to make suggestions and offer advice to help yourself come up with new ways of looking at the belief / problem.

What about the following belief; ‘I’ll never be able to learn Japanese’.

Wow, never is such a powerful word, so never ever in the future will you be able to learn Japanese, not one word of Japanese for the rest of your life, if I told you a word in Japanese and you repeated it, would the whole negative belief come crashing down around you. What about counting to 10, will you never be able to count to 10 in Japanese? What about if you study counting from 1-10 every day for the next month, can we expect you not to be able to speak the numbers by the end of the month.

Does this just apply to Japanese, what about Chinese or German, is there something special about Japanese, have you ever tried to learn it? Where does belief stem from? How is this represented in your mind? Do you see yourself struggling to converse with 40 Japanese business men in a boardroom, all laughing at your pathetic attempts to speak their language? Or do you see yourself scratching your head reading a language book as you try to make sense of all these complex words? What about a picture of you learning 2 or 3 words a day for the next few weeks, would that be learning Japanese? Would the belief still hold true? How did you arrive at this conclusion? Do you see yourself not ever trying because of it? Have you known other people who have tried and failed which is where this belief comes from? Has there never been one person not born in Japan who has learned the language?

Again do you see what is going on here, we are playing around with the reality of the belief, making suggestions and generally trying to change the way you currently see the belief in a way that will potentially shift your thinking about the belief entirely.

When you need to use the strategy for a negative belief use the following questions to help
shift your thinking:

How did you arrive at this understanding and conclusion?
How do you know that you feel this way?
What lets you know that it is ‘this feeling’ and not ‘this feeling’?
How do you represent this belief?
How will you know if and when it does not hold true?
What comes first? What comes next? How do you code each part of the belief internally?
Are you sure you don’t have this in any other format?

Play around with the reality – Ask questions, make suggestions, offer advice and attempt to link up with other understandings. Have fun with it.

For more information on negative beliefs, check out this site.

admin Mind Beliefs, The mind

Why is it that when we set ourselves goals we know we must achieve, we sometimes lose our focus and find ourselves not completing the activities we know we should? Do you ever have this problem? I understand that life can get in the way sometimes, we can get distracted, we take our eye off the ball or we often get involved in other activities. But when the days of doing nothing turn into weeks, and then months we might suddenly wake up one morning with a sick feeling in our stomach’s, a feeling that says ‘Oh! I haven’t done half of what I was planning to do by now’, and then you ask yourself ‘How did I let this happen?’

Is it laziness?

• Have you stopped believing you can achieve your goals?
• Has something happened in your life that prevents you from pursuing them?
• Do your goals not interest you anymore?
• Has your life changed that these goals have now become irrelevant?
• Have you lost all your motivation?
• Does it suddenly seem like too much hard work is involved so you’ve decided to stop altogether?

Why are you not putting any effort into making your goals come to life? Have you given up already?

Maybe you feel you have too much to do, so you feel so overwhelmed that you don’t do anything. If you are losing focus what can you do about it and how do you get back on track? I think the first thing to ask yourself is why are you losing focus? If it is because of unforeseen circumstances then maybe there isn’t much you can do about it, but if it is because you are becoming lazy and unmotivated then that is a different story. If it is then it may be time to get back to basics.

The frightening aspect of becoming de-motivated is that it becomes too easy to talk yourself out of doing what needs to be done. It is also very easy to stop believing that you can achieve your goals, both of which are detrimental to your success. If you stop believing, then in your mind it becomes pointless to continue working towards your goals. Why would you pursue something that you don’t believe you can be successful at?

I think this is a big issue with people giving up in life, they simply stop believing it’s possible. The dream becomes too big and too distant and the next thing that happens, it’s forgotten altogether.

If you have stopped taking action, start again as soon as possible, start by taking small steps a little each day, and make sure they get completed and that you record your activities if this helps. Also be sure to congratulate yourself for what you have done.

Always remember that nobody becomes rich or successful overnight, it takes hard work, action, determination and an unshakeable belief that it will happen.

Don’t lose focus, instead continually remind yourself (daily if need be) what it is you want and what you need to do to get there. It is too easy sometimes to fall into the trap of inaction and indolence but this is to be avoided unless you want things to stay as they are.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation Goal Setting / Motivation

Some ideas about taking action towards getting what you want in life. There are essentially 2 different types of people in the world, those that make something happen and those who watch other people make something happen. Make sure you are not the latter.

• Be the person who turns an idea into something real.

• Be the person who instead of thinking about what they need to do actually does it.

• Be the person who rather than wait until next week or tomorrow does something today.

• Be the person who understands that taking little steps is much better than taking no steps.

• Be the person who understands that they will not fail but learn instead.

• Be the person who knows they are the creators of their entire world.

• Be the person who doesn’t complain about the things that aren’t in their life but rather makes a conscious effort to obtain what isn’t there.

• Be the person that spends their time wisely on activities that will benefit themselves and others.

• Be the person who believes in themselves, and their abilities.

• Become the person who makes something happen in their life

admin Inspirational Inspirational

It is an unfortunate fact, but a lot of people out there don’t always use their mind in a way that enhances their lives. Instead they use it in a way that reduces the quality of their lives. If we don’t use our minds in a positive way than our mind will more often than not use us, it will dwell on negative issues and how things will not work rather than how they will work. In any event in your life, you will have a pre-conceived idea of how that event will go. Some of the time you will not see things going your way or you will see yourself performing in a less than optimal way in a certain situation.

You will either see pictures of yourself failing or you will hear voices telling you that it won’t go well, or maybe you will get a bad feeling about it. Whatever it is, this is your brain working against you.

It is good to notice when this does happen. Start paying attention to what is happening on the inside when you start to feel angry, nervous, worried, fearful, negative or self-conscious. When you start to understand what exactly is happening on the inside you can start to do something about it.

The first step is noticing what is going on inside your head to give you feelings that you don’t want. I have started to do this, and for me I find that I make pictures of the event and also sometimes hear myself speak about it negatively. Once you are aware of this you can then change the sub-modalities (NLP term) of your representation. For example if you hear a voice you can change the voice, maybe change it to a voice of Mickey Mouse or some other cartoon character. If you see a picture, and it is big, bright and colorful you could change it so that it is small, black and white and in the distance. This is known as changing the sub-modalities.

So the next time you feel your mind working against you give it a go and see if you can change what’s going on in your head so you don’t feel as bad or negative.

admin Mind The mind

• Robert Louis Stevenson’s story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr hyde.
• Paul McCartney’s song “Yesterday”, one of the most recorded songs ever.
• Physicist Neils Bohr’s model of the atom.
• Elias Hove’s invention of the first sewing machine.
• German Otto Loewi’s discovery of the chemical mediation of nerve impulses.
• The composer Igor Stravinsky’s score for Petruschka
• Philosopher Rene Descartes principles of analytical geometry
• JB Priestley’s essays “The Berkshire Beast”,

  admin Inspirational Inspirational, inspire

We all have an identity, like a persona when we are out and about that defines who we are and how we act. In everyday situations, when we are out and about, or at work, who we believe we are or what we are capable of serves us well most of the time. We normally don’t change our identity, sure we change physical things or what we wear, new hairstyle, new clothes etc, but there are times when we sometimes need to change things on the inside as-well.

Identity only happens in the mind, it is why when you see a person for the first time, you can form an opinion of them or who they are, and this belief can be completely different to how the other person sees themselves. You may think somebody looks confident and self-assured and that they have they life together, but that same person may see themselves as a complete failure, and is quite negative about life.

We define ourselves whether we are consciously aware of it or not by the language we use. We all have beliefs about ourselves, I am a ….He is … They are … This is the way it is for most of us.

Many people don’t believe they can change who they are (at least on the inside). What we believe about ourselves doesn’t have to remain a belief forever. But it frequently does for many people, they are who they are and that is that. If everything is fine in your world and you are happy with your life, great, but if you are not then things need to change.

We live in a world where nothing remains the same, buildings crumble, cliffs erode into the sea, species die out etc. Look at the world we live in today, everything is changing, and at a fast pace, the atmosphere, the weather, society, nothing lasts forever and nothing will and this can include what you believe about yourself. You can change your identity, and it is done simply by the words you use.

Why is it that some people have no problem at all believing all the negative things about themselves but struggle to believe anything positive? Beliefs only exist in your head they are not real and you can change them to serve you better.

For example, most people are aware of the quote “if you think you can, or if you think you can’t you’re right”,

When we form an identity about ourselves, this becomes a frame which will govern all our thoughts, emotions and actions. If the identity does not serve you well then you might want to consider changing it so you can have a more positive identity to work from wherever you may be.

For example when you form beliefs about yourself and you capabilities you might want to consider asking yourself a few of the following questions:

What have you identified with here?
How have you identified with this?
Why have you identified with this?
Does it serve you well?
Does it empower you as a person?

Check out the following beliefs;

‘I am not clever enough to become an accountant.’
‘I am never going to become a public speaker; I am just not that type of person.’
‘I feel that because of who I am this won’t work.’
‘I am fat and destined to remain single forever.’
‘I’ve never done this before and so it is twice as hard for me.’
‘I cannot act; I’ve never done it before.’

How are these people seeing themselves, are they making it easier for themselves or harder? Some of these beliefs will have a real detrimental effect on the person’s life. The words you use are incredibly powerful, however for most people they are just words, but they have such a powerful effect on your mind and therefore your reality that you might want to start choosing them a little more carefully.

‘I am clever enough to become an accountant.’
‘I will become a public speaker, I am determined to do this’
‘I can make a go of this, there is no reason why this will not work.’
‘I may be overweight but I have many other qualities that I can offer someone.’
‘Although I have never done this, I enjoy challenges and I’m confident I’ll find a way’
‘Everybody can act including me, even though this is my first time.’

It is important to dis-associate from any negative self definitions you have about yourself. In life you will be faced with situations where based on the perception you have of yourself, you will either succeed or fail. Make sure you set it up (in your mind at least) that you win each and every time.

admin Mind Beliefs

Have you ever ‘tried ‘to do something, how successful were you? Have you ever heard or been part of the following kind of conversation?

Person A: “We are meeting up for drinks tonight, you should come.”
Person B: “OK, I’ll try and be there at 7.00 o’clock.”
Person A: “see you there, bye”

If you were person A would you be confident that person B was going to meet you at 7.00 o’clock?

I am not sure that I would be.

There is a real difference between trying to do something and actually doing it. ‘Try’ is a word that really does not convey much conviction or instill in others confidence that a given task will be completed.

“I will try and get this report finished tonight.”
“I’ll try and arrange a meeting later on today so we can discuss the progress we have been making.”

Imagine if you are a manager (maybe you are one) who says to an employee, “I need to have the documentation for this project finalized by Wednesday at the latest”, and you employee turns to you and says:

“Sure, I’ll try and have it done.”

As a manager this isn’t really what you want to hear. I don’t think any manager would walk away without having some doubts about whether or not the documentation would be completed.

Saying that you will ‘try’ to do something doesn’t install faith, either in yourself or others.

When we say we will ‘try’ to do something it is like we immediately have doubts about our ability to complete the task we are about to try and do. When we say it to ourselves are we even sure that the task can be completed, not to mention whether it will be completed or not?

“I am going to try and get a job in the fashion industry”
“I will try to learn some French in the next 6 months”
“I will try and pass my accountancy exams”

If you ever heard anyone say the above, would you have faith in them, would you put money on them completing their goals?

Would you be surprised if they didn’t complete their objectives?

It is like saying:

“Ok I will start this activity, but it may not happen so let’s prepare ourselves for the eventuality of it happening, as well as the possible of it not happening.”

Your mind is already starting to think about what to do when the task doesn’t get completed.

“I’ll try and finish this by 6pm’ next thing you say to yourself is ‘What excuse can I come up with when it isn’t completed on time”.

Use words like ‘Will’ and ‘Do’, these words have more affirmative intentions behind them. Saying you will do something has weight behind it; it is believable and focuses your mind to come up with strategies on how to make it happen.

“I will pass my accountancy exams”.
“I will complete this report by 6pm”.

When you say you will try something, do you really deep down believe you will complete it? Be more positive with the words you use, Show some confidence in yourself and allow others to see it in you as well.

To quote a wise creature from a famous movie ‘Do or do not, there is no try’

admin Mind The mind