Create Change in your life

If someone was to find the formula for confidence and sell it in a bottle that person would make a lot of money. Confidence is something we would all like and need at certain times in our life. Are you waiting until you get older before you get confident, or maybe waiting until you make a lot of money or until you successfully start your own business? Why not just start feeling confident right now. Why don’t people succeed? Difficult one to answer but a lack of confidence might have something to do with it.

What is confidence?

1. A sense of power within yourself.
2. A sense of being able to pull something off.

Not everyone is 100% confident all the time. I believe a lot of people think they don’t have confidence when actually they do. Let’s say for example you start a course in acting to gain more self confidence, yet does it not to some extent take a level of confidence do even make this initial step of starting an acting course. A lot of people would not even be able to do that. I believe there are many times like this example when people claim to not have confidence yet their actions suggest otherwise.

You may even meet some people who say they don’t have confidence, but when they start talking about their life and the things they have done, there is an in-congruency. They will tell you about how they traveled overseas on their own and started their own business when they returned or they will just start talking about themselves, and as they do you realize by what they are saying that they are confident or at least they have been in the past. This is true about everyone; we have all been and experienced feeling confident at some point in our lives. Sure everybody’s confidence can get knocked sometimes, but when you say you are not very confident, how sure of this are you exactly? Maybe you should say you are not very confident about being not very confident.

So when we need to get instant confidence, how could we get it?

One way it can be obtained is by changing your body and your mind.

When you meet someone who is confident you know they are confident long before they have opened their mouth to speak.

1. Physiology - How you use your body. When you are in need of confidence, try changing your physiology. Start moving in a confident way. Breathe strong. Take deep slow breaths. Move like you are in control and that nothing can faze you. If you move through life with certainty you will feel confident.

2. Mental focus

Think of something you really want in your life and hope that it will happen.

How does it feel?

Now expect the same thing to happen, (with absolute certainty).

How does it feel?

Do you see things differently when you do this?

Maybe you see 2 things when you hope (something happening and also not happening) and only one thing when you expect. Instead of hoping something will happen in your life, expect it to happen because you will make it happen.

admin Confidence Self-confidence

Why is it that we are so often down on ourselves and our abilities to make a go of something even before we have started it? I mean way before we have even attempted to start something, I am talking about when the idea originally springs to your mind. Do you recognize this? Maybe you want more money, to work for yourself, to change your career or to become somebody different (lose weight, more confidence). All great goals, but yet when you get pictures of the things you want the most in your mind, you hear a voice that immediately says ‘It won’t happen’ or ‘It’s too difficult’ or ‘If it were easy everybody would be doing it’ or ‘come on be realistic’. Sound familiar? Does it happen to you? If it does it can be a huge roadblock to making any progress in your life.

Do you recognize any of the following traits in yourself from time to time?

• Self sabotage
• Self loathing
• Self doubt
• Self confidence (lack of)

I think it’s probably fair to say, although correct me if I am wrong, but anyone with the above traits probably would have real difficulties making anything worthwhile happen in their lives even if they tried. Life is hard enough without all of this stuff floating about in your head. It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you live, or what you do, we are all the sum of our thoughts. Success or failure all originate in our minds.

“Defeat is not the worst of failures, not to have tried is the true failure.”
George E Woodbury.

How on earth does anyone know that they will fail at something or not be very successful before they have even given it their best shot? How can a person be that sure, that confident that they won’t succeed?

It is only after you have given something your best effort, given everything you can to achieve something that you can be in a position to make judgment about yourself or your abilities, and even then it benefits no one by being down or negative about it.

But to say to yourself that something is not going to work before you have even tried? Why would you do that?

It’s like

‘I really want to do X’

‘But I probably won’t be very good at X’

‘So it will probably be best if I don’t even attempt to start X because I already know it won’t work out.’

No attempts, no day by day goals to attain X, no plan in place, no persistence, no action, instead just a simple statement to yourself that it probably won’t work (even though you would like to make a go if it).

To not try something at all, is complete failure, but to give something a go takes courage and guts, it should be encouraged and commended in anybody who does however old they are.

Instead of people being so sure of that they won’t succeed why don’t people turn this around and believe that they will be successful. Why would someone adopt a burnt out defeatist attitude before the race has even started.

You can understand a writer who has been in the business for 20+ years, and is still waiting to be published to have a certain negative feeling towards the whole thing business (perhaps). But to someone who has never even given it a go?

What does that really say about you?

admin Mind The mind

To find the value of one year: Ask a student who just failed a final exam.

To find the value of one month: Ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To find the value of one week: Ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To find the value of one hour: Ask the lovers who wait to meet.

To find the value of one minute: Ask a person who missed a plane.

To find the value of one second: Ask a person who survived a car accident.

To find the value of one millisecond: Ask the person who won a silver medal at the
Olympics.

Time waits for no one.

-Anonymous.

admin Inspirational Inspirational, inspire, motivate, motivational

What could be the one thing that really changes it all for you? What would it be? In part one I discussed how location, job and money can all have dramatic affects on your life, in this article I will look at a new home, your health and a new you (personality).

New home

How much would a new home change your life? I guess for some people a new home could really change their lives for themselves and their families. A bigger home with a garden for the children to play in that is 10 minutes from the local school and 5 minutes to the shops could be something a lot of people would like to have. It would have a large impact on some people’s lives for sure, but there is much that wouldn’t change, especially on a personally level. Problems at work, financial issues and personal issues would still exist, however new your kitchen was.

Health

What about if you became fitter than you have even been before? What about if you lost weight, starting eating healthier food and stopped drinking? This will definitely affect your life, you will start to feel a lot better about yourself, and you will have more energy. Everybody knows that when you look good you feel good and this can have huge benefits both personally and professionally.

Of course the flip side to this coin is that you can develop health issues which affect you in a negative way and unfortunately this can happen to anyone, no one is immune to diseases and other life threatening disorders. When this happens it will affect your life in ways that may change you physically and mentally and not for the better. Health is something that we all take for granted most of the time and it is only when it is taken away from us that we realize how precious it really is. This is something we also have no real control over; illnesses can strike at any time, without warning and the impact can be huge both for the person involved and their family.

A New you

Working on yourself is a great way to initiate change in your life, changing your beliefs about yourself, your values, working on parts of your personality, building more confidence and self esteem will definitely change you and all in the positive. There are numerous ways to bring change into your life through self development, either through books or courses that you can attend and rarely will these have any adverse affects on you. When you start to challenge yourself and push your boundaries, you can start to see real and immediate changes in your behavior and it can really lift your spirits.

It is very empowering when you set a goal for yourself, something personal to you that you want to change and then you go ahead and achieve it. One of the great things about working on yourself is that you can start right away. A change in attitude via a course of self development can bring around a new way to look, behave and feel about yourself and your life.

admin Changing direction Changing direction

Are there things in your life that you should be doing but you are finding it hard to motivate yourself to do them? If it is all starting to seem like hard work, then try changing the words you use to motivate yourself when you need to complete a task. Try saying you ‘want’ to do something, instead of saying you ‘have’ to do something. For example most of us might say something like:

I have to do my laundry today.

You wouldn’t normally say ‘I want to do my laundry today’, although you might.

Or another example would be:

‘I have to get my groceries today’, not ‘I want to get my groceries today’

The above are every day examples and it doesn’t really matter how you word them they will still get done.

But what about using it with activities that we sometimes struggle to get motivated for, like going to the gym? Instead of saying:

‘I have to go to the gym today’

you would say:

‘I want to go the gym today’

or

‘I have to complete this assignment by Monday morning’

becomes

‘I want to get this assignment completed by Monday morning’.

or

‘I have to lose weight’

changes to

‘I want to lose weight’

Just changing the words ‘have’ and ‘want’ can change how you look at what you are doing. Try it and see if it works for you.

If you suffer with Procrastination from time to time, why not put off not doing something? alternatively say ‘There are things I want to do today’.

This way you can become more motivated to complete the activities you should be doing.

admin Goal Setting / Motivation motivate, motivational

When push comes to shove and the reality of our life being in our own hands starts to sink in, how does it feel? Slightly scary, perhaps? When we are no longer relying on anybody else for our survival, by way of a standard 9-5 job that we have had for a while, or our salary that we have become accustomed to, or anything else for that matter, all of sudden we may begin to think slightly differently about everything?

We might find ourselves saying the following things; ‘Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea?’ ‘Maybe I’m better off working in my old job, at least I knew where I was each week, what to expect? etc’ ‘I seemed to have a much better grip on my reality, I felt slightly more confident about my life when I worked for somebody else.’

It all seemed like such a good idea, the opportunity to take control of your life, it appeared like it was the best thing for you to do. It all made sense not so long ago.’

Then all of sudden, things start to become a little less clear, maybe the grass isn’t always greener on the other side? ‘

What happens?

Self doubt creeps in and the voice of uncertainty speaks, or rather you give it centre stage with a microphone. The voice says ‘Are you sure you can do this?’ ‘Maybe it’s better if we carry on as we are for just a little while longer.’ ‘I am not sure this is really the right move?’ ‘You are risking a lot here?’ ‘Let’s come back to this in a few years time.’

In a bid to prevent yourself from any anguish, you suddenly take the step of not doing very much work towards making it all happen for yourself, so you can then prove to yourself that you were right and that it was all a bad decision. You should have just stayed where you were.

Is it possible that your mind really does work like that? That if you have any doubts at all, your behavior suddenly changes in a way to prove the doubts that you had to be correct?

The fact is if you don’t use your mind in a positive way, it will more often than not start thinking of ways of being negative.

When you are faced with having your own destiny very much in your own hands, it can suddenly change how you feel about things and yourself. Everybody’s fate is in their own hands, but how many people ever get to experience it first hand? (For example, working for themselves) Or even want to experience it? How many people are just going along with their accepted lives, accepted destinies, letting life dictate to them, instead of the other way around? Grateful that they have jobs. For some this may be a perfectly acceptable way to live, but for others it may not be. Instead they want to carve out their own reality, one that suits them and their own desires and wants.

Being the architect of your destiny is not an easy way out, it will not fall into your lap from you just wishing it come true, it will take work and effort on your part to manifest the parts of your life that aren’t there. But when you do and you see for yourself how it is possible and how it can be done you will be glad you did, and the rewards will more than make up for the effort you put in to get there.

It is potentially a powerful position to be in, but it should not be taken lightly, be serious about making something happen for yourself or don’t bother at all, instead go back to what you were doing before. Self doubt is natural, but don’t fall at the first hurdle, there will be obstacles coming up, you are just going to have to deal with them.

At some point previously you obviously thought that more than what you had was possible for yourself, so now with your fate in your own hands, go full tilt, head first and give it some effort. Keep the goal very much in focus, and when doubt creeps in don’t listen to it, instead do something to work towards your goal.

Deep down you want to do this, you really want this to be a success and you know that if the change you are working towards were a success it would change you and your life for the better. Sure nobody said it was easy but how much harder will it be later on in your life knowing that you didn’t at least have a go at creating something for yourself.

If you do find yourself in this position don’t worry because there will be plenty of people who also didn’t so you’ll be in good company. But imagine this; will it be harder to live with yourself knowing that you gave up at the first attempt? The going started getting a little tough so you thought ‘no this is not for me’, ‘time to look for a new job’, ‘time to re-think my strategy’, or whatever.

Once committed to the change and once you start working towards your goal you will be getting closer each and every day, when you do this you will always be closer to your goal than you have ever been in the past. So instead of listening to the self doubt in your head, stay positive and focused and always remember to keep moving forward in life.

admin Positive Thinking Positive Thinking

Four principles of NLP:

1. Know what you want. In any situation have a clear outcome of what you want to achieve.

2. Be aware and alert. Have enough sensory awareness to know when you are either moving towards or away from your goal.

3. Be flexible enough to keep changing your behavior until you get the outcome you want.

4. Take action now.

admin Mind NLP

What could be the one thing that really changes it all for you? Location, job, money, new home, health, a new you. All of the above have the potential to really change your life. For instance:

Location:

If you were to move away to a different country, I mean imagine going to sleep one day and the next waking up in the middle of one of Japan’s major cities, your life would certainly be very different to what it was before; at least it would be if you are not from Japan or Asia for that matter. You would be forced into a world that is totally different from the one you are used to.

Traveling can really change your life; it can really shake things up for you on so many levels, new country, new language, new people, new customs, different food, totally different culture.

But what about moving to a new town in your own country? How much would your life change then? Maybe into a nicer neighborhood than the one you were living in previously. How much would this really change things for you?

Different furniture, different neighbors, different journey to work, different view out of the window, different shops to go shopping in? Moving to a different town or city can have the potential to provide new prospects, a chance to reinvent yourself, to forget the past and move on in your life.

Job:

What about a new job? How much more different would your life be if you had a new job? Different set of routines, new people to talk to, new boss, new office or other type of work environment. A new job is a real chance to make a change in your life. As soon as you start a new job; you can forget all about any previous jobs you have had and concentrate on making the best of the new opportunity you have been given. Perhaps make a good impression on your boss and make friends with your new work colleagues.

What about going for a promotion in your current company or organization, or maybe even working for yourself (self employed) or starting your own business? When you start your own business you’ll have very little option but to change certain aspects of your personality. Starting your own business or becoming self employed has the potential to change your life very much. Moving away from salaried employment to being your own boss would be challenging and would certainly create a change in your life.

What about a whole new career? Doing something you have never done before? A chance to learn and develop skills you didn’t even know you had. An opportunity to have a go at something new, start fresh in a career you perhaps put on hold for one reason or another when you were younger. A totally new line of work can bring real change into your life, after all work is what we spend most of our time doing? (Apart from sleeping)

Money:

The obvious candidate for providing real change in anybody’s life, how much would be life changing for you? But just exactly how would you use it to implement change in your life? New location? Bigger house? New lifestyle? Maybe you would still live in the same area you live now? Would a bigger house really change your life that much? I guess it depends on how money we are talking about here? But isn’t money just the means to an end. People want money because of what they think it will provide for them. More freedom, more luxuries, and more time to enjoy whatever it is they want to enjoy.

A large lump sum would change most people’s lives, but even with money people can still end up being dissatisfied with themselves and leading unhappy lives. Even if you never had to work you would still need to find a purpose in life, something to get you out of bed each morning. Money is just a provider for a whole lot of other things, it won’t necessarily change who you are on the inside, it can change your surroundings and lifestyle for sure, and a large lump sum would more than likely change your perspective on life.

Also see part 2

admin Changing direction Changing direction